Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

I'm not sure I can move on or at least not at this stage. @Zoe7 

[Zoe7]

Yeah I get that @Birdofparadise8 Took me a long time to come to that point but can I tell you something - you have already began doing that just this evening, here with me - you are already thinking outside the box a little and becoming less negative in your thinking. I am more than happy to keep this communication going with you to help you continue on this path - as I said ...took a long time for me to get here as well but it can be done 💕

[Birdofparadise8]

Thank you @Zoe7 

I'll say you are definitely trying to challenge me. You would like my psych. 

One question for you. Do people other than close close family and professional supports ever reach out to you like friends? 

[Zoe7]

Honestly @Birdofparadise8 Rarely but I am different from you as I am okay with that. I have a couple of friends that do reach out occasionally but it is not often. Those couple of people I do consider real friends though as I know if I needed them that they would be there for me. One offered to pick me up from hospital last year so my Mum did not have to make the drive into the city as she knew how hard that was for my Mum - she had listened to a previous conversation we had and remembered me saying that to her.

I used to be similar to you - would reach out to people, be the first to contact or visit etc. but the more I became okay within myself, the more I dropped those people off. If they could not return the contact then they were not worth my time or energy. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh okay. Yes, I think that's also what I mean, real friends. At school from grade four to 12, I had a couple of girls that would one day be my friend, use me the next, say I can only hang out with them if I give them food, don't talk or something, then the next they would kick me out of the group and not talk to me and make me sit on my own in class and leave me out in other things. They were never true friend, and I've never really had that. I think that's what means more than people messaging me because if they were true friends, then they might message me. 

@Zoe7 

What do you think?

[Zoe7]

Exactly @Birdofparadise8 Some people come into our lives for a short time and others are there for longer. Often those for a short time fill a void we have at that time and that is often when we gravitate towards people that are not true or real because we Need something.

I can imagine how hard it has been for you to be on the receiving end of that for so long. One thing I would suggest moving forward is to stay a little guarded around others ie. do not give too much of yourself away quickly but rather let relationships/friendships unfold slowly. You may even find some of those long term friends that actually are friends in the process.

I have to log off Hon but will catch you later - boundaries for me are very important and one of mine is to not spend too long on line - it is also not good for my back to be sitting for long - so fur baby snuggles for me now. Maybe you could have a break too and give squishmellow a big hug - I know it is not the same as a fur baby but the thought is the same.

I also want to thank you for the conversation and for the real introspection you have undertaken this evening - that is a sign that you want to change and given the right circumstances I have no doubt you will get there. Goodnight @Birdofparadise8 💕

 

[Birdofparadise8]

Yes well I did meet a group of girls I've seen them twice now and they seem nice. 

Okay all good. I hope you have a good night. 

I'll take my meds and I might be asleep in 30 min or two hours whos to know. 

You know what when you say that word introspection my regular at KHL mentioned that to me a couple weeks ago. I think it was about when people don't message me back and how I find that hard. Anway talk to you later. 

Thank you.

I'm free whenever to discuss this further if you like @Zoe7 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 hey sweet girl, how are you feeling today? I hope you're getting back on your feet after your horrid bout of Covid. You may feel drained and listless for a while after, I know I did and my friends who had it said the same thing. Just make sure you drink plenty of fluids and don't overdo it.

Currently the temp out my was is 22 with rain and it is quite delicious.

I didn't sleep much last night so I'll be on and off the 'puter. Let me know if you want to chat 😘

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @ENKELI 

I'm feeling better today (physically). I've done some washing and cleaned my room. I have some washing up to do. 

I was on the phone with my parents, who just bought me this monitor. 

https://www.jbhifi.com.au/products/lenovo-l27e-40-27-full-hd-monitor 

I've wanted it for a while, and the sale ends in two days. 

Yes, the temperature is just nice here as well. 

Why didn't you sleep very well? 

[Birdofparadise8]

Also, thank you for checking in on me @ENKELI 

I really appreciate it.