Not Coping

[Zoe7]

It is hard to fight those emotions @Birdofparadise8 but constantly predicting the worst outcome is never healthy. This could be a great opportunity to find other things to occupy your time. I remember some time ago one of the PSWs asking if you could get out to a group or meet people with something you were interested in and you said you did not have the time - now is a great opportunity to use that time to do something like that. It could also be a great time to think of your priorities in life and how you can achieve those things you want to do.

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 hey there, sorry for the delay, I've got a headache that just won't leave even with strong pain relief.

Did you email them back?

How are you feeling today?

Does your dad often call you out on things like not thanking your mum? I wonder if he was hoping you'd tell him you were a bit off.

[Birdofparadise8]

I have some friend to hang out with they are just busy. I think we are meeting at the end of the month. 
you realise just not being able to go on RO has nothing to do with my current friends and all that. It was a service I used for support like SANE and it’s not like I was on it all the time maybe a bit but not to the point where I could pick up a new hobby. 
I could think of a positive one and I’m sure it would still end in a negative way. 
also most of the time when I’m struggling is at night time so I’m less likely to go out as I dont like to and also I have no one to see at 10 pm at night I like being at home. 
sorry if I’m coming across rude or turning down your ideas. I don’t know why you’re challenging me so much. Sometimes when I’m on here I just want people to listen to me and not always try and fix things. I hope that’s okay. Like I am open to things but right now it’s not what I want or need. I just want some support. @Zoe7 

[Birdofparadise8]

Hey @ENKELI 

@that’s okay I hope your headache goes away soon. 
No email. I’ll wait until Monday and then reply. 
Not the best but I’ve had a good day overall with my parents. 
we are going to see Jesica Malboy. 
I don’t know what time it finishes but it will still be early for you can we talk while I’m on my way home. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 sure can. Enjoy Jess Mauboy, she's a great singer.

Let me know when you're back x

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8im wondering whether what happened with RO feels like a rejection and triggered trauma of being bullied. You remind me of the dual process model of grief, grief isn’t always about losing someone, but trauma innately brings up feelings of loss. I totally get where @Zoe7 is coming from, even if you are not ready now, we do have to move more to the restoration oriented side with time. That can be at your own pace. The image below shows what the two processes are, there is also a natural oscillation 

[Zoe7]

I am challenging you to help you break out of long seeded habits and ways of thinking @Birdofparadise8 For example - you saying that thinking of a positive would end in a negative - we cannot predict the future but if your mindset is that it WILL become negative then you have also lost the battle. Depression does not just go away or diminish on its own. We have to take positive steps and work hard to change as well. Doing the same things and expecting different results is not practical so the best support I can give is to help you in moving that mindset to a more positive one for a different outcome than you are used to.

The other thing about support is that both here and on RO you have peers to talk with. Support is not just agreeing with the person, it is also about providing our own lived experience to help that person develop strategies and communication that is more productive and positive. By all means vent but also be open to others trying to help otherwise the same patterns will continue and the same sadness, loneliness and pain will also continue - and I have no doubt that you do not want that.

[Zoe7]

@creative_writer 👍💕

[Birdofparadise8]

lol I knew I spelt her name wrong @ENKELI 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 ha ha, I am really uptight about spelling and grammar, it's a problem of mine. I admit it, I'm a Grammar Grouch! (But I will never pick on you or correct you as a deliberate act to hurt or upset you so please don't take offense if you find I do things like that, ie Jess Mauboy. It's something my improperly wired brain takes and twists and won't settle until it's corrected. There are worse things I guess!)

Oh and I've had Willow as an earworm all morning so I've had to play it several times to beat it out of my system. Now I have Anti Hero. I'm going down the TS rabbit hole I tells ya! 🤣