My Mosaic

[Bow]

Thanks @Ru-bee @Jynx 

@Jynx  im going to put all my wonderland collectibles in it. Which includes Lego and pretty things. 

[Jynx]

@Bow oh yes of course!! Perfect vibe cultivated then, it's gonna look sick!! You been arranging em on the shelves yet?

[Bow]

Not yet @Jynx  i put the door knobs on this morning and then have spent the rest of the day in bed. Really bad nausea today. 

[rav3n]

wowwww LOVEEEE it!! obsessed with the flower handles and colour scheme 😍 @Bow 

[Eve7]

That is just so amazing @Bow  Well done!!!

[Jynx]

@Bow ach that's no good. My dad gets hella bad nausea and it's sooooo debilitating. Been doomscrolling, napping, or reading or something? 

[Bow]

That sucks @Jynx for your dad. 

it hit me while out doing the groceries 😩 I often get lightheaded when nausea hits me and I didn’t really know what to do. Abandon my trolley and just go home? Or soldier on? I kept going, can usually tell when I need to get on the ground. 

but yeah, watched a heap of movies. Did a bit of Lego. My SW came to visit. When I told her I had bad nausea think she was determined to figure out why. I usually know why. Own fault. But we talked about a couple of possibilities. Didn’t get to tell her about last week though. Not making my psych appointment and all this dissociation. 

[Jynx]

@Bow oh that's scary as hun! I hate that tunnel-vision kinda experience, doubly so when you're out and about hey 😞

That's okay about your SW, maybe you weren't ready to talk about it yet! Was it a good chat tho in the end? 

How's your tummy going anyhow? Ginger tea helps me when I'm nauseous, could you manage something like that you reckon?

[Bow]

Yep scary @Jynx  but it’s happened so many times that I know what it feels like and can get on the ground. 

It was an alright chat. She talks a lot. So can sometimes talk too much when I’m needing to get something out instead. 

I forced some food down at dinner and that has helped a little bit. 

Not doing ok. just went and asked daughter if she’d come out of her room for a bit. She could bring what she was doing with her. She said no. Doesn’t even want to spend time with me. She doesn’t need me.

[Jynx]

@Bow I think that is 100% feedback that your SW needs to hear. She sounds like a decent person from what you've said, and so, if she's anything like me she would absolutely want you to tell her that's how you feel. She can't change her behaviour to better suit your needs (you know, the WHOLE POINT of this kind of relationship) if she doesn't know she's not meeting them! 

You could suggest that she check in more about things you are finding hard to talk about/communicate, you could come up with a code word that means "Hey I am trying to find my words but to do so you will need to wait silently" 

Silence is actually kinda important in mental health/therapeutic contexts. You know it's something I struggle with too!! 

Aww hun, that is so hard. I don't have one single doubt in my mind tho, that she DOES need you, she always will. Just like you still need your mum even on the days you're frustrated all to heck with her. We don't stop needing people just cos everything is hard. 

You and my sister seem to be going through similar stuff. My nephew is getting waaaay too into online gaming and it's really impacting his moods, and yeah same sorta thing "Nah don't wanna hang out mum I am in the middle of a game". It's super rough - but it's not you darlin. It's a big pile of everything - everything you're dealing with, everything she's got goin on in that lil growing body, plus all the other stuff that we NEVER had to deal with, like online games and cyberbullying and UGH I feel for the ipad generation. He's said some pretty not-nice things to her too I tell you what. But they never mean it. They just don't know how to express themselves yet. They'll grab whatever sentence pops in, even if it's horrible. 

It'll be different tomorrow. Sleep always helps, moods always shift, it'll be ok 💜