Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

[hiddenite]

Good idea J

But maybe a peg on the end of you're nose maybe a bit easier and cheaper;)

It's always nice to see a freshly mowed garden.

I have to do final inspection on the house next week. Hope it is ok. Still no further advanced with the services.

I think I'm going to have to write a list or its just going to overwhelm me.

Have a quiet night j

Karen

[Jacques]

Oh i never thought of a peg

oh yes, it is such a nice smell, i can smell it now, so nice.

i can't believe the mower started first time today, i have not started it in 4 months, i was shocked, a lot of smoke though.

Oh wow, Karen you will finally have a home, i am so proud of you, do the girls like it?

Try not to focus too much on all the things that need doing, i get overwhelmed that way too, you are right write it down and break it up into what needs doing in order.  I am starting to do the list for the Kitchen it is so overwhelming in total, so i am going to break it down into walls, floor, cupboards, benchtop and sink, to make it work in stages, i have just found out the whole house needs to be rewired so that has thrown a spanner in the works, but i am getting the wiring done in stages too, lights first and power second. none of the electrics have been touched since 1930!!!!!!

I hope your little one is a bit more settled tonight, so you can get some much needed rest, i am here if you want to talk my angel, i am sure you are internallising your emotions from the little ones outbursts.

i am thinking of you

Jacques

[Jacques]

Hello My Angel,

Sorry i didn't post this morning, i didn't know what to say, i am a bit lost for words today.

i had a nice day in the garden removing some weeds, had a BBQ lunch then i had to sleep, i am not sleeping well of a night at all, i think i am in a bit of a sleep glut, i think i am sleeping too much, but i can't help it, the side effects are so strong from the meds.

I hope you and the girls managed to have a nice day, i hope your youngest was more settled today, i know the days are tough for you. 

i hope you are having a quiet evening, i suppose it is close to dinner time for you and the little ones, i missed you posting today, i looked for some posts from you and found none, i can't believe how much i look forward to speaking to you, anyway i hope things are ok today for you.

Take care my angel, i am thinking of you always

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hey Jacques I missed you today.

I did check a couple of times, I hope you are doing ok.

I ended up sleeping this afternoon, so tired, some days it just so difficult to stay awake.

Especially when i'm up to the girls in the night. I hate night terrors, so awful.

Just having a quiet night.

Thinking of you j

Karen

[Jacques]

Hey i am so sorry, i should have writen something, i have no excuse.

oh i am so glad you got some sleep, any sleep is better than none.  yes i have the same problem sometimes, so hard when you wake up in the past.

yes i am ok, just a bit shocked so many people on here seem to be worried about me, i just did not expect people to care, still getting used to it i suppose.

I am glad you are having a quiet night, sometimes it is good to have things calm. 

hey if you are feeling a bit flat, have a look at this, it will make you smile.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFOWOePqKow

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques

Please don't be sorry. You can post whenever you feel like it I understand.

I just enjoy talking to you.

Hope you have found an interesting program on t.v and wrapped up in your sleeping bag.

You are doing such an awesome job talking with everyone. Even the fact that you can now post on other posts and threads, what an achievement. The Jacques from last year was only able to post on your own thread. So I can see you growing and taking chances that's wonderful.

It's taken a lot of courage.

I still have problems talking to others and posting on other threads. But you are doing an awesome job j.

I can see you growing and letting a lot more people in to your world.

Please j only post when you feel up to it.

Take care

Karen

[Jacques]

You are right my angel, i have made progress and so have you, we seem to be moving very slowly, but we are still moving, i suppose any progress is good progress.

no i am just sitting looking through the internet, it is so warm here, i don't need a sleeping bag tonight it is 12 degrees here tonight, spring has finally arrived for me.  i hope it is a bit warmer where you are, i hope the girls are settled tonight.

Karen you progress at your own pace, i can see so much goodness in your future, you just need to loosen your grip on the past, you will never forget, but in time it will not wheeled so much  power over you.

Take Care my friend

Jacques

[Jacques]

Good Morning my angel,

Well it is raining here, yipee!!!!  i have not seen any rain for months, so nice, it started about 3am and has been going ever since.  my new rain water tank is working a treat, it is full already, 200L, should be a nice amount of water for the pot plants for summer.

all the new shrubs and seedlings must be loving the rain too.

I hope your littleones stayed settled last night, and i hope you manage to have some fun with the girls today,  some laughter, any laughter is good.

i am in a better headspace this morning, i felt really confused and lost yesterday, things seem to be clearer this morning.

Thank you my angel for being their for me, i do know how hard you tried to find me, i wish i could show you how hard i tried to find you, i wanted the other forum to give you my contact details, but they refused to do it.  ithat is why i kept writing to you even though i knew you could not respond, i missed you so much in those 6 months, even my mother was distressed i could not talk to you because she knew we had such a bond.

I suppose you and i will never realise what we do mean to each other. you are so special to me, it is nice to have someone in my life who understands the day-to-day struggles.

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques Wow I didn't realise that you really don't get much rain.

I'm so used to it raining here all the time, so I was very glad that it is a sunny day.

You are so talented being able to make your own water tank. Our last house we had to pump water into a tank every three weeks so we had enough. Sometimes we would run out. Usually when I was in the shower with a head full of shampoo.

I am so glad that you are feeling better today. Did you go for a walk in the rain?

Jacques I was so distressed about not being able to speak with you I ended up in the mhu 5 times since October to May.

I missed you so much and the support given. And the fact that I had promised that I would never leave you, especially when you had gone on holiday.

I read every post and I felt so blessed that you were thinking about me.

The girls and I had a tea party outside today. Then I painted their nails with love hearts. Later we went to the park.

I'm glad you can listen to the rain, I love it on a tin roof.

Thinking of you

Karen

[hiddenite]

Oh I forgot J

I have some of the Mandalay coloring in books. The girls and I sit together and colour together they love them.

Take care

Karen