Can't take it anymore

[Loz_3647]

I feel like I'm about to explode. Feeling really depressed about things and getting intense/intrusive thoughts. I don't want to feel like this but it's so intense! 

I don't even want to look in the mirror because my skin is so bad and I've put on so much weight. A picture on FB memories popped up and I am not that person anymore and probably never will be. I've been through a lot since then, but i can't help but feel like it's all my fault.

I don't want to be me anymore. How can anyone love me....

This is all bringing on feelings of wanting to hurt myself  😞  😞  😞

[tyme]

I hear you @Loz_3647 .

I, like many others, have been in that place. I can't bear looking at my past photos!

You are here, and that's the main thing. We are and want you to know that there IS light out there - somewhere.

I know you've said you tried in the past, but I'd encourage you to give it another go if needed: 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling 

Samaritans: 135 247 

If in immediate danger: 000 

[Loz_3647]

I'm not contacting any of those. There's nothing anyone can do. I really don't believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not anymore.

[tyme]

Maybe now is about letting others do the hoping for you @Loz_3647 .

You don't need to think of tomorrow. Just take each moment by moment. You don't even need to strive or try. It's okay not to be okay.

The reason I am sharing numbers and services of crisis lines is because SANE is not a crisis service. Hence, in times where things feel just too much, it is about reaching out to services who can provide crisis supports.

I hear contacting them has been a disappointment, and it sounds like they are not meeting your currently needs. Do you have family or friends you can speak to or stay with tonight?

[Former-Member]

Hey @Loz_3647 sorry to hear your going through a terrible time at the moment, but it’s a moment it shall pass.

I’ve been there too where I wanted things to end as it was too much for me to take and it felt like all my time and effort I put into it didn’t work out. But I can now see that it did get better at least I feel better about it now.

I hope you too do find that inner peace when things seem to be going terrible. Don’t let that break you hang in there 

try reach out for support if needed might help

[Loz_3647]

I try to take it moment by moment and really try to not let things get to me, but they are and big time. I don't want to be me and I don't want to be here anymore. I am with someone right now, but they don't understand. I can't talk to them. I can't take it anymore. I am over feeling like this and just want it to stop. Over the last few months, weeks...it has just gotten worse and I am seriously over it.

[Loz_3647]

Just know, I'll be 'fine'

[wellwellwellnez]

As a potential perspective, I've been looking at Gestalt and original Gestalt theory says explosion is a good thing (Gestalt was apparently very passionate). Gestalt reckoned the purpose of every emotion is explode. Here's a little picture to explain the journey.

(The idea reminds me of a spiritual theory, from a source that I can't remember. The idea was basically to let the gods/Goddess/God etc know when you're angry at them. It opens up the channels of communication at the time when you need them the most. That idea might not make sense outside of the spiritual lens, but I thought I'd offer it up all the same in case you like that lens (or if not maybe it translates in some way).)

[Krishna]

Hey @Loz_3647 Grab a notebook and just start writing. Write it out with intention. Doesn’t have to make sense just get all these thoughts and emotions out on paper. Write furiously with intention. Let it just flow. Explode it all with words on paper. I did this recently when I was having a really bad day. Sobbed whilst I was doing it and exhausted myself but it helped and created a sense of power and release. Then rest.