Who to contact in Victoria for non-emergency help?

[hanami]

One of my favourite sayings 'it is what it is'. Helps a lot at times.

See you again soon!!! @down_not_out 

[down_not_out]

@hanami 

Just wanted to update you and say that talking today gave me the confidence to contact a trusted nurse practitioner who works with my treating psychiatrist and let her know that I am struggling with trust issues and hospitals.

I am going to speak with her later this afternoon. I have great support when I push myself to reach out.

Thanks so much.

[hanami]

@down_not_out That's actually made my day. I did not expect you to say that. Really great that you did that. I'll be back in on Monday after today so will look forward to how hearing how you go speaking with her.

Did you do any writing also?

[down_not_out]

@hanami 

I am going to write a letter to my cousin who I adore and who is a strong role model.

I really wanted to tell you because I know that I enjoyed helping people who needed it, when I was well. 😀

[hanami]

Thankyou for telling me @down_not_out . I really appreciate it!

Gosh I haven't written a letter for so long. That's really good that you have a cousin who is a strong model.

[down_not_out]

@hanami 

My cursive is a bit rusty. I also have a tremor from my brain injury but I will give it a go.

Okay, bye for now. 😀

[down_not_out]

@hanami @Appleblossom @fluffylight  @Jynx @NatureLover 

I have a telehealth appointment with my trusted gp at 10:50 (eastern) this morning and I get quite anxious talking to him at the moment. It is coming out of my pocket because I have not seen him in the flesh for over six months.

The last time I left the house was to take my wife to a temple in the city to pray for the Tet in January (she is not a confident driver). I really shouldn't have driven as I felt like I was dissociating the whole time. Sometimes I will stand out in the backyard for 15 minutes but it is uncomfortable and never gets easier.

My brain is slowly recovering from years of CNS depression from meds. Doing tasks requiring manual dexterity is challenging. Tasks like washing the dishes take a heap of concentration and are intense. This is only slightly getting easier and I force myself to do it and all of the housework. I do hope that Neuroplasticity is doing its thing.   

The nurse practitioner has let my psychiatrist know that I had a bad time in the public hospital and now I guess the cat is out of the bag. I trust these people and have known them for over 4 years - just could never talk about what happened.

My psychiatrist wants me to come back to a private MH hospital that I was comfortable in (as comfortable as you can be in) before I ceased ben*os.

This is all so hard on my wife. She is alone here in a different country, although she has made many friends here. My dad sadly passed away from cancer at age 57 and it destroyed my nuclear family unit. Something that is difficult handle to for her as a Viet, where family is everything. I have not spoken to my mum for over 2 years. 

She has solely looked after me since I started tapering my meds two years ago. I have destroyed her life as she left a stable career as a practice manager OS to move over here. When I have been really unwell, I told her to leave me and return to her family and forget about me. This was quite a while ago now but I quite often feel this way because I destroyed my previous partner's life and don't want to hurt anyone else. The reason I stopped the medication merry-go-round is because of my love for her though.

MH is not discussed in Vietnamese culture and is seen as a huge stigma still. Part of me wants to go to hospital but I don't know what good it will do. The doc will probably offer anti-psychs but I do not want to take anything anymore.

My wife will be alone and depressed if I go in and will not reach out to anyone for help. It is also an extremely arduous journey to come and visit me.

What is the point of going to a private hospital if I am only going to stress about my wife?

Thanks for reading this and I hope that you all have a great day. 😊

[down_not_out]

@hanami @Appleblossom @fluffylight  @Jynx @NatureLover

The chat with the GP was constructive and I was less anxious this time than when I spoke to him a couple of months ago.

He thinks that the car accident injury has most likely had an effect on my life. I'm worried about my impulsiveness going forward in the future.

I don't trust myself in the real world anymore. Even when I was not on meds in the late 90s, I still bought and sold 3 houses and many cars.

I'm worried about making any important decisions now.

[Appleblossom]

@down_not_out 

I am glad today's session was good.

Hearing you about the struggle to manage major decisions, and a sense of grief, at the capacities you did have.

I am sorry you feel you destroyed someone's life.  It is a very strong statement and is unlikely to be true, but might reflect your sense of responsibility.

It does sound as if you struggle with practical things these days, but it is probably wise to keep up as much as you feel safe doing. Are there other hands on hobbies you can do, that are not dishes ... but more motivating ... eg I found gardening helpful.

I have issues and sometimes do not feel safe to drive, on freeway, or at night, or in rain.  SOmetimes I am alright.  It is tricky but mostly I can tell and limit my driving when needed.

Take care

Just tag me if you want to chat. I am online most days but at various times.

[hanami]

Hi @down_not_out 

Just catching up from your posts that I missed when I was off on Friday. I feel like you've made some positive steps following our chat. How are you faring this week?

Warmest wishes

Hanami