07-10-2019 07:53 PM
Right now the anxiety is really getting to me................been like this for sometime and I just feel like I can't breath. The walls are closing in and I just want to scream at the top of my lungs to tell the world 'leave me alone'!!!!!
As the great man Freddie Mercury sang ( and John Deacon wrote) "I want to break free".
Work is not helping, very stressful, no staff, too much work to do, you know the usual in most work places.
So I thought, well I can't scream out loud so I thought I would scream here instead so here goes...................
Hopefully that helps.......................................
P.S. Hi to everyone, hope you are all having a lovely day, and if not blessings to you.
08-10-2019 01:24 AM
@Scarecrowe Hi Scarecrowe how are you going? I find running a socially acceptable substitue of screaming. It feels (for me in the past anyway) exhausting in a good way. Using every part of the body. Plus there is the adrenaline hit at the end. I can thoroughly recommend it. Love peaxxx
08-10-2019 12:31 PM
Hi @greenpea . Thanks for the tip. It does sound like a great alternative but I have bad bone structure in my legs (ankles through to hips). Everything is out of wack which means I cannot do lots of activities like running, horse riding etc. For some reason my bones just didn't go where they should have done for some weird reason. I should have been plaster castered from the hips (as they do to kids with hip displacement). When I started walking one of my legs would flick out and after this went of for weeks my father took me to the family GP and he said as I grew that the bones would click into their proper positions..............but they didn't. So now I have constant bone pain (some days worse than others) but I have learned to live with it. When I was 19 I went to a bone specialist and he said that I have the leg bones of a person 20 years older than me because of the extra wear and tear that they have to endure. So I am 49 with 69 year old legs lol. So because of that I have to be careful with what I do to them in case something pops out badly!!!!!!!
And that thought does freak me out at times lol.
Hope you are doing well and thanks for your support. Blessings. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Doctors.........................sometimes they can be more of a hinderance lol.
08-10-2019 01:16 PM
first off, I love your pic. I adore the SBS "Versailles" series I'm guessing it's from. Louis XIV is quite the rock star in that depiction and no stranger to psychotic spells which is comforting to me.
Yeah, work is tough. My managers and customers chew my arse all the time. Sometimes my cravings are so strong I can barely make it thru a 4 hour shift. But I need the money.
It's good if screaming here helps.
Just wanted to let you know that I hear you. Maybe you're doing very well in a tough situation. Give yourself some credit for that?
08-10-2019 01:46 PM
Thanks @BryanaCamp for such a lovely and inspiring message. You put a huge smile on my dial.
Yes you are right about my pic, it is from the TV show Versailles. I love that show!!! I really enjoyed the performance of the two men shown (Alexander Vlahos playing Phillipe Duke of Orleans and Evan Williams playing Chevalier de Lorraine).
I hear you about needing the money. My shifts are usually only 3 and a half hours long and only two of them whilst the shop is open, but still they can be extemely hard to handle. I am hearing you too!!!! It does frustrate me at times when the need for money rules our lives instead of our health being our number one priority.
And please give yourself credit for making through each day too. We all handle our difficult situations amazingly and deserve so much praise and encouragement.
Blessings to you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
08-10-2019 05:01 PM
@Scarecrowe Hey Scarecrowe that is terrible what happened with your legs. Some doctors should not have a licence to practice . Is there any exercise that you can do that helps like swimming? It is a shame if you cannot exercise because I find exercise helps me so much to get rid of my frustration.Love peax
08-10-2019 05:33 PM
Well @greenpea you can understand why I have extremely little faith in the medical profession lol.
I can excercise for sure, but I just have to be aware of what I do. Swimming and cycling are big yes's for me to do. I love getting on my bike and cycling around but not a fan of swimming at all. School swimming lessons put me off being in the water. Up until my mid teens I did tap dancing and jazz ballet. I had to give up because as I got older my ankles could not handle the pressure and would blow up the next day and ache. Was not impressed as I wanted to be the female version of Sammy Davis Jnr.....lol!!!!! I still do dancing at home a few times a week to keep me active but just watch what moves I do, no jumping around so to speak but more gentle moves if that makes sense.
The worst thing to deal is work. I work in retail so of course lots of lifting when putting stock out etc. The bone specialist said ' you have the most weakest knees and ankles I have ever come across, I am surprised your ankles hold you up at all.' He told me NEVER to lift objects the correct way (using your knees) but to lift the incorrect way (using my back) as my back will last way longer than my knees. My knees have no strength in them at all. Over the past few years they have really detoriated and I cannot get up off the floor unless I use something to hang on too as my knees give me nothing lol. And my job requires me to be on my knees on a cement floor on a regular basis, so that is not a pretty sight seeing me getting up lol. I really look like an old woman then lol. My back is starting to feel the strain of years of lifting this way as well which is understandable. The bone specialist did give me stretching excercises for both back and legs which I have been doing all this time which helps. I usually do them when watching TV rather than just sitting still.
Anyway I have rambled on for too long. I am a fast typer and lots of times don't really notice how much I have typed lol.
08-10-2019 06:15 PM
@Scarecrowe well Scarecrowe I think you are amazing coping the way you do with all that. I dont know how you do it. You must be a very strong woman . xx
08-10-2019 06:24 PM
Oh how kind of you to say so @greenpea . You are gorgeous xxxxxxx
I don't think of myself as a strong woman though lol. Just playing with the cards I was dealt with I guess. Since I have been putting up with this from day dot I really don't know any different.
But still thanks for your beautiful words. They made me feel much better.................
11-10-2019 09:36 PM
I recieved your last message via email but for some reason I cannot find the post on the board, so I am hoping you get this reply.
Yes I can see how your work is extremely hard on your knees as well. Not fair that our bodies have to endure so much just so we can make a living. And yes casuals always get picked to do the jobs that no one else wants too!!!!! I do wear knee pads at work which helps when kneeling on the cement floor (except when I forget to put them on before work and then I forget that I have put them on and kneel down and feel the pain and say to myself 'stuff it, I forgot my knee pads' lol). But sadly knee pads don't help with the getting up part lol.
Wow you certainly hike alot in a week. Good for you. What a fantastic way to keep fit and get out into that fresh air. You must see some gorgeous scenery out hiking. Mother Nature sure is wonderous when you get out and see what she has been up too. I do love walking in a rainforest when I get the chance. How peaceful!!!!
Hope you have had a lovely day and that you are doing well. I am doing ok at the moment. I have had the last two days off (yesterday was a public holiday) and I have next week off. Can't afford it but I need a break and some peace and quiet.
Take care. Blessings to you.
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, guidance and referrals, see the SANE Help Centre
SANE Forums is published by SANE Australia with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health
SANE Australia ABN 92006533606
PO Box 226 South Melbourne 3205 Australia