Dissociation

[destructive]

@emu12345 I experience dissociation also. From what I understand is it's a spectrum and everyone experiences dissociation to some degree but trauma can strengthen these pathways in the brain.

I have been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, which sometimes I consider and other times I refute. I definitely identify the the feeling of things not being real or being in my head which can be disconcerting. 

I think they way forward is finding a therapist who understands and works with dissociation. 

Happy to talk further if it helps to know someone else has similar experience but don't particularly have any answers, even after years. 😞

[Just]

@tyme sorry, I'm guessing I shouldn't have written what I did. Will try to just let it out into my pillow in the future. I'm ok. A bit up and down. Taking it easy. Taking breaks. So sorry if my words hurt anyone

[tyme]

Hey @Just ,

No worries. Please note the words weren't removed. It was merely placed in a spoiler so member click on it before reading 'in case' it is triggering.

We recognise it's hard at the moment and we want you to feel as supported as possible. 🙂

Please reach out if you need support.

[Just]

@destructive thanks. I might take you up on the help. I will try to write in next few days the things I'm struggling with. I can't always pin point them when I want too. I guess to be honest it scares me too. I have also learnt I have to be careful what I say on this site because my issues can be triggering to others.So will write out first at home and rewrite to my best ability to limit and possible negative tiggers.p.sThanks for reading and responding.....

[Just]

@destructive Had sometimes to write. So going back in time a few years to first diagnosis, CPTSD. My personal experiences: In therapy, It took me 2years to just remember the chair I always sit in. Still to this day can't tell you the colour? I know it's padded. Sometimes it feels smaller sometimes taller. I know I have a diagnosis of CPTSD, because my Dr wrote it down and I still have. I have to take notes. I always or usually always have questions written down to ask. But I also have to write what Dr.says then and there or I won't remember. I can recall some shortly after session and I write this as well. But now thinking back can only remember bits. Have verbally done other tests but don't seem to have found notes on these. (Like in a dream, don't remember questions or my answers). Lately I've taken to hiding my notes. So last sessions have been lost. Not sure if this is self sabotage or self protection. Does make it hard when I want to know though. 

[Just]

The chasms getting bigger. Staying positive Build a bridge, build a bridge. ...breath breath. Need to find my notes.

[Just]

The problem with the bridge is... It just takes me over the chasm. But part of me is in the chasm so to speak. How do you tackle the memory loss..es orHow do you keep from loosing more, while your working on the 'one'. This is hard. Any advice will be welcomed. @destructive @OM108  @tyme @BaggyJeans  

[tyme]

@Just ,

Be kind to yourself. Sometimes, I find we are too harsh on ourselves and are our own worst critic. Tell yourself that working on one area may mean falling in another, and THAT'S OKAY. 

Over time, things fall into place. Just remember to be kind to yourself. 

One thing that sometimes works is asking yourself that if someone came to you with the same concerns, would you speak to them in the same way and have the same expectations of them as you have for yourself?

[destructive]

Hi @Just like I said not sure if I can help much because I'm not good at this myself but I can listen. I feel like dissociation is super hard to overcome because it gets in the way of the overcoming- for example loosing your notes or not remembering important sessions

I one tuned out on a obstetrician appt and didn't get what they had been trying to tell me.... That was not good... Not helpful. But I guess overall it is there to be helpful, to help us survive so I try and remember that when I'm frustrated. How amazing the mind is. 

[Just]

@tyme thanks, I will try to remember to not push myself.