Lived Experience Forum

[Mum8]

@Former-Member

I've just been reading the section on Active Listening you embedded. It is something I need to practice to get so much better at. I have a very good friend who does this very well and  I think that is what makes her my best support as I experience the difficulties with my daughter.

[HenryX]

Hi @Daisydreamer 

I need to say that for me this has been a learning process. I do not feel comfortable with 'text chat', so I avoid that type of space. Facebook is another area that I mostly avoid.

I feel comfortable with conversation and so have been more involved in that style of communication on the forum.

{A note here regarding refresh of screen to keep up with notes here.}

[Zoe7]

Sorry I missed this @Daisydreamer - just got home from work. Will read back later 👍

[RandleMcMurphy]

Hi,

I guess my view of online safety is of a more technical nature..

It is quite hard sometimes to play it safe on the internet... and it depends upon what platform you are dealing with..

With social media, I tend to stay away from commenting on emotional topics because people can be very blunt and trigger anxiety or panic attacks..

From a technical standpoint, I use techniques to block access to websites that might cause distress or anxiety..

[RandleMcMurphy]

Hi..

I just wanted to mention that there are several ways to approach this issue..

1. There are parental applications you can install that filter and log viewed content.

2. You can change the DNS settings on your main router to filter out sites that might be harmful and

3. You can set time limitations on your router to only allow internet access between specific times..

Hope that helps..

[Mum8]

@Former-Member 
You asked some good questions here. I'm not actually sure about the safety of these places and how well moderated they are. I know my husband has put some security settings in place but I think I do need to find a way to have a conversation about internet safety with her. Thank you for the link. I'll check out the advice on KidsHelpline.

[CrazyChick]

@Daisydreamer

Thanks for the links for resources, especially the one for women. Although I have experienced considerable harassment, bullying & trauma - it hasn't so far been online. But I am worried about being followed/stalked online & other risks of being online. I have installed an anti-virus on my phone and set up a secondary email address that doesn't use my real name. I will explore other strategies from that link too.

In terms of what I share online  - I don't use any names of people, just describing their role such as colleague or boss. And I try not to provide details that could identify my location, other than general ones such as state. I try not to give exact details of my experience - so I feel ok to say I have experienced workplace bullying, but not the exact words or actions that took place.

I used to feel safe in forums - because the people that reply seem supportive, and many seem to have shared similiar experiences. What worries me most is of other people accessing and searching the forums, possibly way after the original posts. I wish I could remove things I have posted in the past so I wasn't worried about people finding it. 

[Daisydreamer]

Hi @CrazyChick,
Thank you so much for letting me know how you are feeling. I am also going to reach out via email to see what we can do to remove some previous content for you so you can feel safer here 🙂

Keep an eye out today for this email from me

[Daisydreamer]

---

@CrazyChick wrote:

Question 3: When we think about online spaces that feel kind and respectful, what sorts of behaviours and communication are we seeing in those spaces? What makes an online space feel welcoming and respectful?

I agree with what others have said, including:

• support in how to use online spaces, including encouragements to keep personal details safe & follow group rules (where appropriate)
• acknowledgement of information offered, particularly if something challenging shared
• validation of experience, including others with similar experiences or feelings
• relevant suggestions of things that might be helpful, without judgement or telling someone that they should do a certain action
• I appreciate gentle welcoming, and even an occasional @tag to things that people think I may be interested in. But sometimes I feel that people tag me excessively in things that I have shown no interest in & that makes me feel uncomfortable.

---

Some really great points @CrazyChick! I really value that feedback about the tagging as well, such an important point that there are times we might be tagged in areas we are not comfortable to respond in. This is something we may want to explore further as a community as well 🙂