Something’s not right
- Mark Discussion as New
- Mark Discussion as Read
- Float this Discussion for Current User
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 07:02 PM
17-08-2019 07:02 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
Distraction is the biggest go-to @Former-Member . Getting busy with something, and if there’s no energy for that, then music, or watching something on tv. Art is really good for me in that way. It takes me away from everything else and I am just in the moment and being creative.
I think you know we moved to the east coast, in support of one of the kidults relaunching their studies, but it meant another one who is still at home relaunching too. Both of them are on AD’s for anxiety and depression now.
Part of this journey has been learning that there is a genetic factor at play here, and it’s in their genes as well ..... but that doesn’t mean that it will travel the same path as it has in mr. f&h..... whatever “it” turns out to be. No diagnosis yet over him ..... over one of the kidukts its a personality disorder that is slowly regaining order, and they will grow beyond it with time, support, and practicing the skills that keep it from taking over and disordering itself again. There are a lot of positive attributes to the underlying personality type, so the challenge is to keep it on positive tracks.
Our house in the West was abandoned. The garden that I nurtured and loved so much has gone to :pile_of_poo: and I have no garden at all now. In a “condensed living” housing ..... grrrr ..... and having to make the most of it although it grates on me.
House over there is getting sold, and mr.’s idea of downsizing was to throw out half of what we had in a weekend. The kids and I stopped that plan, and it’s now heading into storage for proper sorting across time when we can be back in the west, which is hard because mr. considers himself retired and wants to go travelling all the time. We now have a small “condensed living” place over there for when we go back to see the kids who still live there, and mr. goes more often to see his mum.
House over here is too small for us, so we are selling this one too. Home opens happening here along with pack up, move, sell over there. Then there will be pack up and move here too, and part of that move is to enable separated living in the same home 😔.
Have I confused you yet ??
Oh, and I had a hairdresser bleach out my dark under-hair last year to try to match my grey on top, without asking me, and it turned orange. So I have spent 18 months growing that out using toners, but another hairdresser overseas, who knew me and knew I was growing it out, bleached the regrowth without asking me, and “fixed it” by dying my hair black. Back to square one. Stripping out the colour and growing it all out again grrrrrr ......
Art feels like it’s the only stable thing in my life at the moment, along with my faith, that if I can keep walking through all this, something better will emerge out of it all.
Without it I would never have met forum friends ..... 💕
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 07:43 PM - edited 17-08-2019 10:33 PM
17-08-2019 07:43 PM - edited 17-08-2019 10:33 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
@Faith-and-Hope , yeah, a little confused... especially with what hubby's doing - retired, travelling mommy's boy... Your kidults are lucky that you're there for them, have so many resources and uproot yourself for them. Selling he tamily home must be hard, and watching the life fade away from it, esp garden. Change is hard. I'm impressed you keep yourself busy. I'm trying but it all seems hopeless on days like today. I don't have much left in me. You still have so much up and running to keep you going. The art is a gift, and faith, and your kids and hopefully your studies... Definately a lot to distract. Keep going. Don't give up. Not sure when it happened but I think I gave up somewhere there, abandoned everything, and now I don't have strength to keep going, remake myself... start from scratch... rebuild... everythings Orjust wrong without my girl, its too hard... or so it feels tonight. Anyway, dont give up, just, hold on, you're amazing you know ❣️
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 07:58 PM
17-08-2019 07:58 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
You hold on too @Former-Member . You will be exhausted from the upheaval of your own move, and how emotional it was to leave the place where your girl is ..... and what is happening with your dad, and especially the tricky family you have. It will take months to recover your energy levels. That was me last year when we moved. Total inertia, totally blindsided and winded ..... keep taking those baby steps and feeding the birds. New opportunities will emerge in your new place, and you have had lovely support from that neighbour who helped you with the cupboard.
Gently, gently. Give it time, and don’t be so hard on yourself Hon. Self-care activities can be small ones, like hand cream, or planting a seedling. Have you planted something for your girl yet ?
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 10:26 PM
17-08-2019 10:26 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 10:35 PM
17-08-2019 10:35 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
Energy eventually starts to return by itself as you get on with things @Former-Member .
Ignore the former-church friends as well-meaning advice that is not right for you at this time ..... I think you know that but guilty feelings creep in with their judgment ..... church will happen in its own time. It’s hard to start up new bonds. They take time, and spending time in other people’s company doing things, and you will venture out as and when you can. They are not the boss of you. You are quite capable of making your own decisions about what feels right for you.
I have made some friends at uni, by hanging around together in classes and the cafe, but not enough to connect outside of uni yet. I am the newcomer, and they have their own lives and friendship outside uni too. It will take me time, and I do get lonely, but this is where I have chosen to work from, what we have got going on at home, so I am not free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, and have to find some sort of balance as I go along. I will get there, and so will you.
Be kind to yourself.
💐💕
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 10:43 PM - edited 17-08-2019 10:51 PM
17-08-2019 10:43 PM - edited 17-08-2019 10:51 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
Sorry you get lonely too, hugz😢
Guess we WILL 'get there' each time, if we keep putting one foot in front of the other...
You've been helpful tonight ta. I'm really tired though, so Good Night, God Bless 💜
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 11:11 PM
17-08-2019 11:11 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
Goodnight @Former-Member . Sleep well 💤💕🌷
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
18-08-2019 04:31 PM
18-08-2019 04:31 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
Proud of myself... just Cut back the spindly bottle brush. The new heavy duty loppers work really well. Took 90min, now the hard part... cutting it up small for the bin. I do hope to plant a tree or bush here for my Jo soon, as our suggested F&H. Something purple. Wonder how long I'll live here. Need something in big pots too I think. Quite warm and windy here today, probably a change coming through. Look fwd to spring 🙂 No negative thoughts today 😁
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
18-08-2019 04:52 PM
18-08-2019 04:52 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
Proud of you too @Former-Member That is quite some achievement for today
On snail pace here myself but managed to get the washing in - it is very windy here and looks like rain is not far away. Been doing a little planning this afternoon with the footy on tv in the background. Trying not to get overwhelmed by how much I have to do tonight and how little I have actually done over the weekend. Aiming to get the planning done for the next 3 days at least then can deal with Friday's on my day off Thursday.
It will be lovely to plant something for your D and if you do that in a pot you can take it with you if you eventually move again. Something purple would be lovely
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
18-08-2019 05:17 PM
18-08-2019 05:17 PM
Re: why can't I cope longer?
Don't you worry about 'snail pace' - you've earned it with work and all. Your teaching sounds like a real labour of love in many ways. So encouraging watching you grow as you have 🏆
But you and ya footy - makes me smile... but I can take it or leave it, the last 15min I'd always exciting though. I tend to obcess more over talent shows like TheVoice, or Aust. Got Talent (on tonight😁)... but I must say, those judges are a bit weepy this year 🤨
You stay warm, keep ya feet dry and have a good week. My precious forum friend ❣️