Not Coping

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 that's a really powerful quote.

Yeah I have private health. I used the MHP a few years back after I'd been in the MH centre.

You do need to be proud of who you are. This will shape you into an incredible woman who will be able to overcome obstacles others find hard.

You're gonna be okay 🤗

[creative_writer]

@ENKELI, I seem to find myself circling back. I know using the wrong ways to cope leads to complications down the track, regardless of your chosen “self destructive strategy”. I lying in bed for now as I don’t feel well, under covers even though it’s warm, but I feel safer this way, I struggle to find safety. My nose is burning. Gotta thank those pesky bugs. I think I’m going to have to do a better job at rigorously cleaning travel coffee mugs. I also think I have a cold sore, which is incredibly stubborn , hurts sometimes to eat

[Birdofparadise8]

You can use both @ENKELI 

Ten MHCP and maybe four or five with private health. 

I'm trying to cook dinner and keep walking back into my room so I can cry and then go back out. I can't cry out there incase one of the girls comes out. 

[ENKELI]

@creative_writer our bodies are great at kicking us in the shins when we are down. Feel depressed? No probs we'll give you a cold sore to go with it. You poor thing, it's one thing on top of the other. And anything that makes eating difficult is so draining. My teeth have pretty much disintegrated over the past few years due to medication and a couple have exposed nerves so I have to be careful what I eat so I kind of understand how you feel. Cold sores are dreadful, my former friend suffered from them and I would see her almost in tears sometimes because she had to be so careful how she ate or drank anything. I pray it heals quickly for you. 

Are the blankets giving you some comfort? I'm like you, when I need a safe place I head to bed with my blankets and favourite pillow. I think that may be part of why I feel so blah at the moment, it's too hot to snuggle up in bed to self soothe

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 I wondered how you got on when you were teary and trying to cook.

I always blamed onions when I needed an excuse.

Hopefully you'll have enough time to prep and cook your dinner. Home made naan bread, that's impressive. I don't know many 20 year olds who can cook as good as you can. 

What time shall I come for dinner? Lol! 

[Birdofparadise8]

No onions here @ENKELI 

I'm stressed. I feel so dysregulated trying not to cry when I just want to break down and go into a big, deep hole. I don't know why I'm in so much pain right now. I'm so sad. 

Naan bread is easy. I did study to become a chef, so I hope I can cook, hahaha. 

Now hahah. 

[creative_writer]

@ENKELI, disintegrating teeth is awful, my heart goes to you 💖🫂. Meds can come with awful side effects😔

I’ve had hair issues, but that might be emotional and physical stress, it’s hard for hair to grow at normal speed when you’re stressed and sick a lot. I can’t even remember the amount times I got sick last year. I spent a good few months getting sick on and off. The amount of infections I got was ridiculous. I’ve had to cut a bit shorter recently since the ends were super dry and I was getting tons of breakage.

The blanket does give me comfort. It’s probably a better way to self soothe than rub at my hands. I did lots of hand rubbing earlier today, not a good habit I would say

[Birdofparadise8]

I'm sorry @Blackbird11 

I hope I didn't upset you. 

[ENKELI]

@creative_writer no wonder you're in need of comfort. Illness after illness is like water wearing away at a rock. The hair issues sound like a response to your stress, I've heard your hair suffers when you're not at your best. I'm the opposite with my hair, I've been dying it since I was 16 and it has always been thick and healthy. It's probably compensating for my gross teeth and excess weight! Mind you I've always used quality hair products too. My favourite friend has problems with her hair too and when she is under stress it suffers. She takes selenium to help with thinning hair.

I think a blanket is the best way to self soothe and definitely better for you than rubbing your hands. I used to scratch my arms before I learnt how to SH. The only reason I stopped was being put on a new medication. 

I think if I was working I would probably feel better. 

Hopefully this year will find you in good health and not as much illness 💜

[Birdofparadise8]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so broken right now.