Tw Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

I sent it to her in the mail @tyme 

She even cried. It made me sad to see her cry over this. If she found out that I tried to hurt myself, she will be a complete wreck, but I don't see how I can keep fighting like this. I've had enough. 

[tyme]

Knowing their child is hurting and in pain is enough to make any mother cry @Birdofparadise8 . But consider what it would do to her if you did go through with it. It would destroy all those that know you for life.

It is hard now, we acknowledge that, but it doesn't always stay that way. One day you will be ready and able to work towards recovery. As I've mentioned, I always thought I was ready, but I wasn't sick of being sick until my 30s. I'm not saying you have to wait until you are 30, but there WILL be a time when you know you are ready.

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah, I know @tyme I just don't want her to know that I'm struggling so much. 

I know it would destroy everyone in my life, but why should I have to suffer with the pain I'm feeling just to protect others? 

[tyme]

It's not just about protecting others. It's about giving yourself a chance because you deserve it @Birdofparadise8 . Avoiding the hurt will never strengthen you. 

I'm sorry I sound so harsh. but I've been down that path and if people didn't wake me up, I wouldn't be here to tell the story.

[Birdofparadise8]

I don't feel I deserve it, though @tyme 

[tyme]

For now you don't feel like it @Birdofparadise8 , but feelings change.

[Birdofparadise8]

They can get much worse like they are now, @tyme. 

I'm sorry.

[tyme]

I can't agree or disagree to that @Birdofparadise8 . You author your own story.

Just like I was made to see that I author mine.

[Birdofparadise8]

Mmm, I guess so. 

I'll just have to see where mine takes me @tyme 

[tyme]

Yes @Birdofparadise8 . People can support you, but they can't do it for you.

You have a lot ahead of you.