Lived Experience Forum

[Snowie]

I have a younger son too @BlueBay so still got 3 years left of school fees.

It can be expensive with books, uniforms and fees.

I hope you have a good night hon and can get a good nights sleep.

[BPDSurvivor]

How exciting @BlueBay ! Little A going to big school!

My nephew is going into prep too! 

And guess what? I’m teaching prep again this year. I’m also teaching Year 3. I think I’m teaching 10 prep classes and 9 year 3 classes. 

I think we are not as kind to our preppies. Ours start school this coming Thursday and stay all day from 8:30 to 3pm. From experience, some do fall asleep by lunch time. 

In Vic, preppies also have testing. Each child has their English and Maths Online Interviews. I asked my nephew a few questions and I’m glad he’s not too high or too low. I just wanted to gauge how he was.I didn’t do the interview officially. I just randomly asked questions like how many jellybeans do you think are in this cup. Or which straw is longer. No biggie.

 What a proud moment Nonna! Going to little A’s first day! Take your tissues!

From a teacher’s perspective, the shorter time you stay, the easier it is on the parents and kids. I found that the kids get very stressed out if families stay too long… then they bawl their eyes out!

Stay strong @BlueBay - I’ll wait to hear how it goes!

[BlueBay]

wow @BPDSurvivor you're going to have preppies, that's a very small number of students which will be good for you.

yes, i agree quick drop off for little A and that way she won't be too upset

i actually think she will be fine, she has 3 girls from her kinda in her class which is nice 🙂

[BlueBay]

i need some advice

i know i am the one that needs to make the final decision but i would love some input

My dad's birthday is coming up in a few weeks while i am away on holidays.  Because we are not talking at the moment thanks to my mum again, i am so confused as to what to do.  Do i 

1. phone and hope to God he answers and wish him a happy birthday
2. post a birthday card with tatts tickets
3. completely ignore the day and do nothing

if i ring and he answers and he asks why i haven't been over for a month; do i tell him about mum hanging up on me and telling me that he said he doesn't want visitors ie. my daughter

if i post card, i am 99% sure that she (my mum) will post it back and probably not even tell my dad

if she posts it back it is invalidating me and the gift

if i do nothing then i need to be ok with that decision

It's so difficult that my dad is caught in the middle of a domineering, narcissist mum.  She controls his life too, i am sure of that.  he has been emotionally and verbally abused for a very long time.  

i am so confused, i don't know what to do.  I'm not looking for an answer because it will need to be up to me, just some advice or support.

@BPDSurvivor @Snowie @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @tyme @hanami @FloatingFeather @amber22 and others i have missed 

[hanami]

Hey there @BlueBay 

I would 100 per cent call him and if he asks why you've not been over tell him the truth. Life is too short to play the games your mum is playing. I would tell my dad I loved him and wish him an amazing day. That way he knows the truth.

Hope you can decide what to do without too much agony.

Hanami 

[BlueBay]

thanks @hanami 

i agree with you - he needs to know the truth.  what if he doesn't ask me why i haven't been over, do i tell him why?  i just don't want him to get upset and get sick with his heart.  I know he is a big softie like me, very emotional and keeps things inside to himself.

i saw my psych this morning and i told her that i was really upset and hurt last year when they forgot my birthday.  She replied 'that's how your dad will be feeling if you miss his birthday' and really it's not his fault; it's all her fault.

we will be away on his birthday, i think deep down i know i will ring - it's just the confrontation of him asking me questions or her answering the phone.  if she answers the phone i will just ask for dad.

[hanami]

Yep I think I would tell him the truth even if he doesn't ask. I agree with your psychologist.

Oooooh your little grandaughter starts school. Soooo cute. Hope it all goes well.

❤️

[Emelia8]

I would call @BlueBay .  💕

[BPDSurvivor]

Hahaha @BlueBay - I think you misread. I don’t have 10 Preppies. I have 10 classes! That’s nearly 300 Prep kids!

How did Little A go today?

I had such a good day at school today.

[BlueBay]

ha ha @BPDSurvivor yes i did read it wrong!!!

OMG you will be very busy

little A starts tomorrow, i am going to her place tomorrow morning at 8am then we will drop A to school and my D and I will go for a long walk followed by a coffee.  Then pick up little A at 12.

@Emelia8 @hanami i am heading towards deciding to call my dad and yes tell him about my mum and how she hung up on me.  thank you for your support.