Lived Experience Forum

[Bow]

just so fed up with it all. My thoughts are so relentless and I don’t think anyone can save me

@Jynx @Don’t wanna take up your time when there are others in need. 

[Jynx]

@Bow Don't worry about my time, you have as much right as anyone to be taking it up. I choose to spend it supporting you 💜

Perhaps you don't need to be saved hun, perhaps you just need to feel loved. Which you are 🫂

[Bow]

It’s hard when there is zero love towards myself @Jynx nothing but intense hatred. Which causes a whole heap of problems which I feel like will never end. That’s not a life I wanna live

[Jynx]

@Bow yeah I get that, I have sat in the darkness of self-loathing. It's really hard. It helped me to have someone to sit with me in the darkness, which I am happy to do for you now hun. 

[Bow]

She don’t deserve it @Jynx 

[Jynx]

Good thing it's not up to her how I spend my time then eh @Bow, or who deserves it. I'm here for you no matter what your brain says about deservedness. 

[Bow]

You think they’d notice they’d care? 
if they did it would only be a few @Jynx 

[Jynx]

A few is enough @Bow, in my opinion. And those who would notice, who would care, they would notice a LOT, and care IMMENSELY. Which counts more than anything if you ask me. 

[Snowie]

Hey @Bow 

Not sure if you had an appt. today or if someone was checking in with you.

If so, I hope it went well hon.

Sending lots of 💕💕

[Bow]

Went and had my bloods done this morning @Snowie - seen my SW. it’s hard to be honest. There is this expectation that with these new meds that I am getting better I feel. And yeah I have very small moments, but the bad still very much outweighs the ok. 
I went to arts and craft this afternoon. Taught everyone how to do some of my pebble art. Didn’t really need to do much, it was pretty straightforward. 
And now Im home and im spiraling down into this dark pit of nothingness. Feel like I have no control of where things are leading.