My Mosaic

[Bow]

Super duper anxious @Jynx I’m scared. 

[Jynx]

@Bow is this the CM you feel more safe with? It's okay to be scared, you can even tell her as much so she knows where you're at when you see her. 

[Bow]

Nah, this is the CM that has basically ignored me for the last 2 months @Jynx  the one that sat and lead my case conference last Monday and hadn’t spoken to me in weeks. The one I have had many issues with recently. 
She apparently said in my case conference last week when I was not present that she was aware that I had issues with her and that she wanted to fix it. Guess it’s finally happening. 
So I’m not good with confrontation and conflict. Scared she will minimise stuff or have a whole heap of excuses or it didn’t happen that way kinda things. 
And then there is the whole issue of what I am currently doing to my body and her now wanting to have something to do with it. She will want me to go have bloods, but I ain’t doing it. She will want me to go to my gp, ain’t doing that either. 
so yeah…. 
I’ve asked her to come here to visit, but now I’m thinking I will change and go to her. 

[Jynx]

@Bow Can very much understand the anxiety hun. I hope it goes better than your anxiety is predicting. Perhaps this means she is willing to actually make an effort and do the things that will be helpful to you. Perhaps you could write a few things down about what hasn't been working, what you find triggering, etc.

[Bow]

Yes I think writing some points down might be helpful @Jynx otherwise I may get in there and clam up and not say much at all… that may still happen though! 

how was your caving??

[Jynx]

@Bow well you can always hand over your notes haha. Fingers crossed it goes well for you and brings about some positive changes in the relationship. 

It was super fun! It was a granite boulder type cave system so not so much crystals and stalagmites but lots of nooks and crannies and interesting challenges to make it through. Was very spooky at times, and had some moments where like, we had to cross over a drop off or swing around to avoid falling, was hectic. And there were ickle glow worms in there too, so when we all turned off our torches all we could see were these tiny little blue lights, like stars. Plus the surrounding rainforest was sooooo pretty. 

[Bow]

I sure hope something changes in our relationship @Jynx cant keep going on like it is. 

Your caving sounds heaps fun @Jynx  ive been to some caves up past the blue mountains, but nothing like what you describe. 

how’s your sun and water intake?

[Jynx]

@Bow me too hun 🤞

Yeah I wanna go visit some more caves - maybe in Tassie, I haven't been down there in years but it's one of my fav places in the world, soooo pretty. What were the caves like in the Blue Mountains?

Well I lay naked in the sun for half an hour yesterday 😅 and bought some hydralite to try to get more hydration. Still feeling light-headed from time-to-time but hopefully if I keep up my intake it'll subside in a week or so. The vitamin D tho my doctor said to take supplements for about 6 months - so I bought some D3 gummies hehe. If I gotta take extra vitamins I might as well get a dopamine boost at the same time! 

[Bow]

I like that you love tassie @Jynx  its my home. And I’d move back in a heartbeat if I could. Really wanna take E there and spend a couple of weeks exploring showing her where I grew up and my fav places. 

the blue mountain caves were cool, although don’t remember too much. Just remember the stalactites and stalagmites. One is up and the other is down, but I couldn’t tell ya which is which. 

that would certainly be a good way to get your vitamin D! Covering all bases! And yes gummies are the best. Medicine that actually tastes good!

[Captain24]

Caving sounds scary @Jynx. I don’t like confined spaces. I also layed out in the sun today naked! I love it. 

I’ve been to those caves @Bow stalactites hold on tight to the roof stalacimities might reach the top. That’s how I remember it. The is also nice caves in the central west of NSW. 

I really hope your CM app goes well for you and you can both resolve your issues. @Bow. One good thing about getting your meds dropped off means you get a little bit of support from your support worker.