Is meaningful change possible

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Dothemo and everyone .... 😊

For me the key to change is to pace yourself .... it's what I can "baby steps" .... venturing a little at a time in manageable increments, as opposed to attempting and expecting a quantum leap.

Change takes time .... you need to give it it's time ....

Attempted quantum leaps are prone to failure, and that can be a negative vortex .... baby steps, even if they are two steps forward, and one step back, are still a forward movement (as @Former-Member says) .. still progressive.

Expecting quantum leaps can feed unrealistic expectations .... although not always .... a quantum leap can happen when baby steps quickly align and propel you forwards .... but that also means you were ready, and planned the changes carefully, or stepped into a dynamic that really worked well for you at that time.

I hope this helps ....

🌷💜

[pip]

Hi all who've posted. Change can be scary at any age. People say you're never too old to learn, that's true but learning and changing means you have to adapt. If you have no-one to help with transition it's stepping outside the square you have lived in all your life. I don't think age really comes into it as education is more the issue. Radical changes, like employment, relocating living can be frightening, but again, support and being comfortable in you that what you're doing is right for you is where your strength comes into being. I had to start work again at the age of 64, to say I was petrified is putting it mildly. However, 15 months later, I'm still working and enjoying it. Okay, it's voluntary, but I'm still doing something for someone else.

[Former-Member]

Change is possible ,but from my experience think a bout it and seriously,weigh up if the "grass is greener on the other side".We are never happy,whether we have a mental illness or not. The only time in life we are happy is probably when we are babies and playing with a rattle when we knew no different.I am turning 45 this year.My life spiralled out of control when I approached 40  due to a lot of things from workplace bullying,chronic insomnia ,feeling  tired,didn't know I had anxiety a d depression.I changed my life with the assistance of a mental health nurse who I now know was a w*****.I lost something I can't get back ,life got worse,and I spiralled into deeper depression.I know I am negative on this,but make sure you are going in the right direction and keep safe.

[Faith-and-Hope]

So sorry to hear you went through that @Former-Member .... I hope you feel you are going in the right direction now.

🌷💜

[Former-Member]

Thanks Faith and Hope
I no longer have any direction,feel I will never get it back,I wish everyone the best with their change.I did not rush into change either,that didn't help.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I hope you do find some direction eventually @Former-Member .... sounds like it will take a lot of healing.

Is that your cat ?

[Former-Member]

So do I.Faith and Hope.The cat is off a everyday picture.

[Sahara]

Hi @Dothemo,

I was in a similar situation to you about 10 years ago.... while I was recovering from an episode of major depression. I was in my late 30's then too. I went through a lot of soul-searching and questioning. I also went through a period of serious risk-taking and identity re-forming. at times I even felt free and happy.

It was a strange time. It's hard to believe it was even really me, because I think I am quite a different person now.

I think that change is possible at any age.... for everyone. I know someone who suffered a heart-attack at 50 and went on to completely change his life around! He went on a health kick, took up exercise, lost a stack of weight and became more optimistic. He is now happier and healthier than he was at 30 years of age.

I think the same thing can happen with mental health, too. You can change the way you think, to a certain extent. You can learn to react to life's challenges in a different way. You can experiment and try new things.... you can cultivate compassion. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member .....

There are cats everywhere where I am travelling here ..... they are like community pets .... everyone looks after them.

[Former-Member]

Cute,they looked fed.One of my deep regrets in my change was a cat I rescued and loved,gave her to someone when I moved and she went missing.I am haunted by her,I loved her.She is microchipped but she was wild ,only to me who knew her.I would love to think she's alive but I can feel she isn't.