Had enough of this

[tyme]

I'm sure they are @ArraDreaming - when you are feeling down, does thinking of them help clear your mind a little?

I know for many, their family or children act as a protective factor when things get tough. I guess working out what your protective factor is can help bring some stability?

What do you think? I'm interested to hear.

[ArraDreaming]

@tyme Yeah it does help, when they aren’t around and I feel down or something I like to look at photos of them. All three of them have been the biggest comfort when I have been feeling really bad the last couple of weeks, my partner is nicest most caring person I have ever met and the boys just know the right time for a hug. 

Also, sorry to everyone for being so, I don’t want to say stupid, but yeah stupid, angry, illogical, a mess the last couple of weeks I don’t know why I get like that, i just do when I’m really upset and the only outlet for me is to take it out on people online it’s so dumb, and sometimes my thoughts just get so busy that I just say words while I try and make sense of what I actually want to say. Sorry for upsetting people and behaving so dumb 

[ArraDreaming]

I don’t want to get like that again but I also can’t help myself until it’s over and I regret ug

[ArraDreaming]

I am just so tired

[tyme]

I'm here if you need a chat @ArraDreaming 

[ArraDreaming]

Physically and emotionally I am exhausted, I quit @tyme 

[tyme]

It sure does sound draining @ArraDreaming . 

I can see you being pulled from every direction, yet also wanted to do what's right by your partner and the boys.

It's incredible how you have described your partner. You're one lucky man! It's not easy to find the 'nicest' person (as you described her). What a gem.

Maybe for tonight, it's not about trying to change anything, but rather, just getting through the moment. Enjoy your family. 

Are you at home tonight?

[ArraDreaming]

@tyme Yeah, I am just so tired. I have this whole other family (my siblings and stuff like that) that I never really had much to do with well not in the last few years that now all a sudden want/need my attention but simultaneously are useless human beings all while trying to work what the actual hell I am meant to do when your last living parent who never accepted you or showed you any love dies but also realising after they die that they werent that bad after all 

i appear to be the only one in the family capable of anything 

all well I have another family that actually isn’t useless that cares about me waiting at home for me while I deal with that ^ 

The funeral was earlier this week 

yes I am 

but I am in bed and I have been since 6pm i just crashed after dinner starting falling asleep putting our youngest to sleep so then I just went to bed after that 

I am very lucky my family is the best i feel very loved they always look out for me but the last couple of weeks especially, while I have been back and forth from Melbourne my partner has just been amazing and has had everything I have needed organised for me smartest and kindest person I know 

[ArraDreaming]

Most of my siblings are still children BUT the ones that arent, I have never met a group of dumber people

[tyme]

Sure sounds like you do have so much on your plate @ArraDreaming - and it looks like your kind heartedness sends you in all directions trying to help them.

I cannot tell you what to do or not to do in terms of your siblings - that's not what I'm here for. But for each of us, there comes certain age where individuals are responsible for their own actions. 

Perhaps 'helping' your family is not about doing everything or anything for them, but just for you to stand in your own home and be an example for them? This may be the greatest help to them.

It seems like they have had little or no better role models in their life?

You have worked hard to get to where you are today. So have I. And so have many others. Perhaps it's now their turn.

But first, they need a role model. And that very role model might just be you. 

tyme