Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member, you describe things so well, and I so relate to each sentence, and the anxiety fear of being rejected when you need it most (like when my friend died 3-4wks back), I too have learned to fly under the radar and not ask staff for help... Its hard when ya conditioned already that reaching out will only get our hands slapped. And why do we keep putting ourselves in harms way? 🤔 i donno

I've done the self imposed exile thing.. I make mistakes... I lack emotional control. when overwhelmed, then hate myself...peoole don't usually see it when we withdraw (for good reasons all round), it's personal, and we have a right to privacy too.

I've come back from 'excile' several times here (self imposed or orherwise), and would encourage you to do that too... its life.. 

Don't give up!. Lots of ppl seem to like you here. Be selective at first and don't forget the social threads where things are lighter. 

Try not to read into things too much (especially when no responses come), just keep 'liking' - like you did yesterday...

I think its easier to forget people on forums where we have no visuals, so don't stay away too long. 48hrs is my self imposed limit to withdrawing, otherwise I go downhill too fast after that.

I think a 'FRESH START' is the only way to move Sherry... and living more in the present moment with interactions (which goes against all instinct I know), my bad memory forces me to be more present here.

Most people actually want to get along. We're just all a little broken... We need to be kind and compassionate with ourselves as well as others.

I'm so proud of you for sticking around, and for writing your post... really know how difficult that would have been.

Like with me, sane forums have become a lifeline... I don't think admin realises the huge responsibility that comes with that... we just need support

Having said that... Maybe we shouldn't keep "all our eggs in one basket" so to speak. 'm'moff to a grief support group this week... spread myself around more for balance..  for when one link goes afoot.....well... that's the plan, if I  can just get going again lol

You. have to find a way to not care too - to have that inner strength that things will be ok... I get it sometimes... but it fades in and out.

I don't know Sherry, just keep trying, no matter what the weather is like.

We all get clumsy at times but most are well intended most the time.

I Betta shutup now sorry lol Does my head in trying to work it out sometimes lol

Stay strong xox
EOR 💕

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am so glad to have you back here and posting @Former-Member ..... I have missed you ❣️

Yoy have been through an incredibly tough series of events Hon, and in my experience heightened stress = heightened symptoms.  

For me recenrly  that has been psychosomatic stuff, cos I am on overload for different reasons.

My eyes are rolling and I have an early start tomorrow so I must go offline now (edit: fell asleep three times writing this ...) but please know how much it means to have you here.

[greenpea]

@Former-Member  Hey Sherry I am a bit confused and concerned about our lovely Sherry ..... the pea cannot imagine that you will be forced of Sane forum. You are one of the most caring, kind people that we have on here. Personally I love my Sherry. You have been there for me when I have been really down ..... I consider you to be a friend and have been very concerned that you have not been around like you normally are.

Just come back sweetheart.  We love you. Yours always peaxxxx

[Zoe7]

The simple answer to your quesions @Former-Member is yes you should be here and you absolutely deserve to be here. You are one of the most caring, compassionate and kind people here on the forum. You both reply to and post with insight, love and thought and every single person I know here appreciate and love your support and honesty. I have never ...and I mean never... seen you show anything but compassion and empathy for each and every member on here Hon. You are valued, respected and admired for the thoughtful way you respond to those that are hurting and also the way you connect to others with your own personal experiences. ....and I would go as far as to say that witihn this community you are one of the cogs that keep the wheel turning - you are more than a single member lost in a school of fish - you are a leader in what this community is about. From the outside looking in your contributions make a difference ...and from an insider knowing you are here you are an essential part of what makes this community work. Do not underestimate your worth or influence in what makes this community what it is Hon because each and every member that has the pleasure to know you value what you have to give and the light you spread throughout the forum.

I can hear the pain, the insecurities and the fear that you are feeling from that previous experience Sherry. I can also hear that you are torn between connecting here because you need that support and the very real fear that in doing so you may be treated as you were on that other forum. That is incredibly hard to navigate and a very hard path to walk.

Within yourself I can also hear how much past experiences - and present ones - are further contributing to your low self-worth and any confidence you have of your value. When one is continually being put down or made feel like they do no matter it becomes ingrained within us. It does not matter how much we are told of our value, the light in our presence or the amazingly compassionate and insightful contribution we make to the lives of others if we do not believe it ourselves. Being trodden on, put down, rejected and let down continually becomes our norm - and we expect nothing more as a result - in fact anything but feels foreign to us and we have no scope of reference to equate the positives with so in effect they feel abnormalities in what has become the reality of our lives. ...but we see your worth, we see your value, we see your compassion, we see your strength and we see the light within that illuminates the lives of so many here.

You are one of the true guiding lights here sweet Sherry and your voice not only matters but is listened to Hon. You not only have a place here but are an essential part of this community. So many benefit from you care. compassion and insight and despite what you are personally going through you always find time and strength to support others. Now is the time for us to support you and help you find your way back. It will take time to find your feet again and to believe that the past will not be revisited here also - but we are all here with you to continue to assure you that we care, we need you here, you are valued and loved.

My life is better for knowing you Hon and I have no doubt others feel the same. Let us now be the shoulder you lean on, the hand you hold and the life raft to carry you through the storm - we hear you, we are listening and we are here 

[BlueBay]

Hugs and love your way @Former-Member 

@I feel for you so much in regard to the other forum. Why? Because the exact thing happened to me. Whst yiou explained about your situation with them happened to me. The exact thing. I was told I was never allowed bsvk. I even went back after a while with a different user name but they knew me. Banned. I fear the same here at times. I know I get reassured by @Lauz but it’s still in back of my my head. I totally feel for you. I know you’re scared and vulnerable. 

Pls don’t stay away. You need us to help you get through the most time. I know lots of us will be here for you with open arms. Never giving up on you or abandoning you. ❤️❤️

Take bsby steps and pls know that I’m here for you. 

You are such a great person who not only supports me but many others on here. 

Hugs your way @Former-Member ❤️❤️Xxxoo

[Maggie]

@Former-Member  Very much hearing you. 💕💕

[Molliex]

Sorry you had that experience @Former-Member and it continues to impact you.

Im pretty new on the forums, but you have been one of the kindest, thoughtful people here. You've offered nothing but support. 

Please don't punish yourself. We care, and we want you here. Sending hugs 💕💕🌻🌻🌻

[Faith-and-Hope]

Wow .... I am awake now and everyone has said so much of what my tired brain couldn’t put properly into words last night @Former-Member ..... one after another here your forum friends are telling you how much you mean to us, and how horrible that experience you went through with that other forum was .... in times of high stress, which is what you have and have had for some time, the fears and trauma are magnified.  

We we will sit with you and walk with you through this time, as you find your strength and start to recover from the most recent events.  As @Zoe7 said, with a husband who constantly wears down your self-esteem, that has become your sense of normal ..... the experiences on the other forum compounded this, as have past traumas ..... let your light join with ours as we strengthen one another.  You are so valued here as a leading light.

💜💜💜🌷🌷🌷💕💕💕💐💐💐❤️

[Shaz51]

am so glad to have you back here and posting @Former-Member , have missed you lot

like @Faith-and-Hope , @Zoe7  said with a husband who constantly wears down your self-esteem, that has become your sense of normal ...-- sending you knowing hugs about this -- it is hard ( mr shaz does this )

let your light join with ours as we strengthen one another.like @Faith-and-Hope  and like others said here we  are here for you to help you jump over this hurdle

it would be easy to let this stop what we want to do my sister but together lets fight foreward xoxoxoxo

[Gazza75]

@Former-Member