Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

It seems like your gp was being really caring and was concerned for you @Former-Member - as we all are here Hon  I understand that knowing of our patterns but also not being able to stop them - it is incredibly hard when you are feeling so low to even consider what is best for us. I am glad you are seeing your psych this week - you have so much going on and need that outlet to talk and work through things. I also know it is hard to open up when you feel yourself shutting down - that is often the hardest time to talk but the time you need to the most ...very much a difficult position to be in. Sitting with you Hon 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member   Thanks for posting your pic ... I love it.  Desserts/Stressed  😂

@Maggie   I love how you constantly support so many of us.  Often saying very little, but meaning so much. 💖

@Faith-and-Hope   Thank you so much, you have provided some very worthwhile advice, which I will take on board.  And yes ... it does help ... very much.  Ha ha .. grab my hubby by the ear.  Yeah there are times I'd like to do much more than that.  Same as yours!  I think you may be right ... grief impacting everything else.

@Former-Member   You dont need to say anything.  I know you're there, as you always have been. And I know you'd do all in your power to help others, because thats what you do.  But right now, you need to care for YOU first and foremost.  I read of your difficulties re D, and also your fear that you are losing her.  You wont lose her ... she loves you too much to let that happen.  And she needs you too.  It would be nice to think that you need each other and could lean upon each other during the difficult times.

@Shaz51   darling sweet natured Shaz.  You always think the best of people dont you?  Thats a lovely trait in anyone.  But unfortunately it isnt always the case.  With my hubby ... no he did not mean that I should not allow the rapist to so badly affect my mind now.  He meant that I should not have permitted him to attack me in the first place.  He said 'you're a strong woman, how did that happen'.  He said what he meant and inferred that I actually let it happen.  He's not taking into account the shock I was in that it was happening in the first instance, the fact I was stunned and dazed from his physical attack on me, the fact my attacker was a trained army reservist and thus strong wiry and determined, that I feared for my life.  He does not understand any of that ... only that I 'allowed' it to happen.

@Zoe7  Yes I see my psych this morning, and need to head off in the next half hour or so.  Had a sleepless night again last night, this time trying to work out what I can and what I cannot divulge to my psych today.  Its hard knowing whats best.  My head just isnt in the right place to know right now.  Everything is just a jumbled up mess.

Thanks also to others who have pressed the 'support button' on my recent posts, but have not felt able to respond.  I know you're there, I know you support me ... and I take comfort from knowing that. So thank you also to  @eth @Gazza75 @Molliex @greenpea @Appleblossom @Owlunar @BlueBay @Peri @Starta 

Sherry 

[greenpea]

@Former-Member  Hey Sherry thank you :). I am always here for you. Even when all I can do is press the support button and listen.

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member 

I could totally relate to your posts and have been exploring a lot of similar themes to get to the bottom of my own issues.  Loved @Former-Member  Stressed dessert pic ... will try and remind myself when things go skew whiff in the ED area.

1) I would be distancing significantly from husband if he cannot listen or believe you about the rape.  He seems to be both Watching his cake on his plate and getting to eat ALL his cake too.  

Recently I read an interesting article on pop psych site that I have not saved. How we use our heads and mouth is somewhat effected by the neurological wiring in our heads and how truama impacts us.  They also used the idea of a circuit breaker but suggested using chewing gum ... as a repeated motion using the jaw ... but which I really dont like ....  SOmeone once suggest internal mouth massage for some other issue, but now I am talking to you about it ... gently massaging inner mouth, gum, jaw and into TMJ.... I must start doing that more.

Hugs

[Shaz51]

hello @Former-Member 

thank you for clearing that up for me , that makes me sad to know that your husband would even think that and worse to say it

my mr shaz say things to me too that i think " is he having a go at me "??

and i know he is having a go at me at times , and it is worse when other people start to notice it too

hugs my darling @Former-Member 

[Zoe7]

Thinking of you today with your psych appointment. Hope you could get the words out and it helped @Former-Member 

[Peri]

Dear @Former-Member 

@it is so good to see you back here, even if you are being so down on yourself.  But you did make me laugh a bit.  Who has not downed a whole tub of ice cream. Or scoffed something.  I certainly have done that.  There are times when just a small bowl of the stuff won’t do. And times when I cant open a packet of crisps without finishing them.  I also don’t eat when anxious.  Now I don’t eat with depression either. I can also drink the wine to seek something, I also like the wine so it is not a hardship

you have had so much to contend with and so much still ongoing. Give yourself a break. If someone else was telling this story you would be full of empathy, not telling them they are horrid..  you have helped me so much and given me lots of support. I still am in really dark times and you have never told me to buck up or just get on.  You are gentle and kind.

 My mother died in 2005, I still think “ oh I will just call mum, then it will be alright”.  But of course I can’t.  These are fleeting thoughts, but very real at the time.  I don’t think you ever stop missing your mother.  And now you have your dear dad to worry about .

life is very tricky, I wish I was one of those people who did not respond the, way I do, but I can’t change that. I just have to try to get through.  Please be kind to yourself  and only post when you have the energy and motivation to do so. So many people care for you here

peri

[outlander]

@Former-Member 

[Maggie]

@Former-Member  💕💜💕☕️☕️🐶🐶🐶

[BlueBay]

Thinking of you @Former-Member 

hope your session with your psych went ok and you were able to verbalise how you’re feeling. 

Hugs and hugs ❤️❤️