Looking after ourselves
- Mark Discussion as New
- Mark Discussion as Read
- Float this Discussion for Current User
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β21-10-2018 10:00 PM
β21-10-2018 10:00 PM
Re: Judgements
Not Long @greenpea your mum will be hoeing in you very soon.
If if you are at a good place ( which I never am ) you could say
men and women take their unconscious problems out on women .......
esp. us little bit more vulnerable β
I have said this to her but not at good times. I did growl at her for comparing my son to his friends that she calls to get information from though.
This is a pic of a quilt Iβm making for a baby
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β21-10-2018 10:12 PM
β21-10-2018 10:12 PM
Re: Judgements
Im not all to sure what to say as critisim is something i encounter all the time-usually the negaitive kind but im following along with interest and understanding towards what your going through
πππβ£ππβ€
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β21-10-2018 10:22 PM
β21-10-2018 10:22 PM
Re: Judgements
Your probably best writing your experiences and let us respond to you darlinβ
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β22-10-2018 12:30 AM - edited β22-10-2018 06:26 AM
β22-10-2018 12:30 AM - edited β22-10-2018 06:26 AM
Re: Judgements
Family ... often our worst critiques ... sometimes though they say what we need to hear ... important not to take concern as criticism.
There are many dynamics at play here. My hackles tend to go up when I hear "should" ... you should ... he should.
I find diffusing things with humour helps, one example
Mum (stating the obvious): "your place is always so untidy"
Me: "I don't know why mum, but mess seems to follow me. I don't know how I missed out on your cleaning up genes, obviously took after my father's side in that regard".
Bonus for if " you should ...."
Mum I do struggle with this, you did suggest I should do .... Why don't you come around once a week to help me tackle this and I don't think I could do it without your help "
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β22-10-2018 07:20 AM
β22-10-2018 07:20 AM
Re: Judgements
@PeppiPatty I couldn't agree with you more PeppiPatty. Love the colours of the quilt beautiful.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β22-10-2018 09:42 AM
β22-10-2018 09:42 AM
Re: Judgements
Few more suggestions
"Looks like I have inherited the family flaw - hey, are you calling the kettle black?"
"Tried suggesting that already but...
.... one word from me and he does as he pleases"
... goes in one ear, out the other"
... it's like water off a duck's back"
"Yep, I could certainly use one of those, thank goodness my birthday/Christmas is coming ... look forward to opening your present to me"
"I heard that was genetic - what in your experience works the best?"
"Heck yes ... but only if you're shouting"
"I'm thinking someone got out the wrong side of bed this morning ... are you feeling a bit grumpy today, can I give you a hug"
"Thank goodness we aren't all the same and my/his talents are in other departments such as ...."
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β22-10-2018 12:05 PM
β22-10-2018 12:05 PM
Re: Judgements
I ain't no saint, often what I think and what I say are two different things...
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β22-10-2018 09:31 PM
β22-10-2018 09:31 PM
Re: Judgements
Jeepers @Former-Member
Iβll need to reread all of those good comments.....
I am in so much fear of my Mum.
You weite 2 or 3 things that really resonated .... after dinner π₯ Iβll tell you which one βοΈ !! Xxx
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β23-10-2018 08:36 AM
β23-10-2018 08:36 AM
Re: Judgements
I try to ensure all I say is done so in love. When saying these things I smile, will put my arm around mum etc.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
β23-10-2018 07:46 PM
β23-10-2018 07:46 PM
Re: Judgements
mmmm @Former-Member
My poor Mum has bellowed and bellowed at me for years.
I've had many years of Psychotherapy but what really really helped me was both medication, and therapy.
My Gp did not believe in antideppressants so I researched, found Effexor and asked for them. Then about 4 years ago, I was put moodstabilizers when I was explaining to a Psychiatrist that I felt I was falling apart all the time.
He looked at my history and actually spoke to me for about an hour and kept in contact with me for a long time.
I find that without 'checking in,' with Sane forums, taking meds and practicing certain ways of self care, I draw dangerous things in like people being aggressive around me. Self care is first and foremost but,