Hi @Qoup 

I just wanted to reach out and welcome you to the forums - it’s great to have you here 💜

I’m so sorry to hear about everything that’s been happening for you and as I listened to this part of your story, I could hear such a profound sense of anguish, fear and anxiety in relation to the health and wellbeing of your family 💜

In my experience, feeling as though we’ve endangered the health of our loved ones, or that we’ve been unable to care for them in the way that’s important to us, can be absolutely devastating and as such, the thoughts and feelings associated with this can be incredibly difficult to reconcile.  

The more I listened to this part of your story, I more I got the overwhelming sense that you’ve had to navigate some extremely complicated and challenging situations and just from what you’ve described, it sounds as though you’ve done everything within your power to ensure that your loved ones are cared for as safely as possible 💜

Oh Qoup 💜 I can really appreciate your reservations in relation to completing a rapid antigen test to determine if you’re living with covid19 and my heart goes out to you 💜 It wasn’t too long ago, when I found myself in a similar situation to the one that you’ve described and as such, I can still remember how incredibly scared I felt.

Interestingly however, I wasn’t scared for myself, but I was terrified about the consequences and what this would mean for my loved ones if I happened to test positive. As such, I just ever so gently wondered if you’ve been able to make a decision in relation to completing this particular test?

I felt incredibly moved when you shared that you reached out and ‘spoke to someone on the care line but I felt guilty for taking their time’ and this is something that I’ve wrestled with too.

In my experience, it can be extremely challenging to reach out for the care and support that we so desperately need and as such, there have been numerous times in my life when I felt terribly guilty for ‘wasting’ people’s time and taking valuable resources away from people who I felt needed and ‘deserved’ them more than I did.

However, through time, I’ve come to realise that although my experiences are different to those around me, they’re equally as important and as such, I’m also worthy of receiving care and support 💜 With this in mind, I just ever so gently wanted to reassure you that you’re always welcome to share your experiences here with us - no matter what their size 💜

I’m so pleased to hear that you’re in the process of scheduling an appointment to see a Psychologist and I hope that you’ll be able to receive the care and support that you need in the very near future 💜

Also, just while I remember, one of the things that really helped me when I was new to the forums and still finding my way around, was that if you would like to chat with another forum member, or reply to one of their posts, place @ in front of their username just like I did at the start of my post to you i.e. @Qoup that way, they will receive a message that you have contacted them 😊

I hope that this has helped you a little bit and I look forward to being able to talk with you again 💜

Take kind and gentle care of yourself,

ShiningStar 💜