Hello everyone,

I'm Nik_Nak. I am grateful to have found this site and hope it will help me on my road recovery. If you have any tips on how to navigate the forum please let me know. It is very overwhelming, and even right now, feel like running away.

I am 27 years old and a single mother to two children who are 10 and 8 years old. I am currently starting court proceedings with their father due to him removing them from my care and changing their schools. Since being apart from my one and only true loves, my children, I have become a complete manic mess. am now to get myself back to. I started using drugs as a coping. I hate my house as home isn't home anymore; the silence is deafening.

I have endured a couple of violent relationships due to poor, choice of person, and substance abuse. I managed to reduce my alcohol consumption on my own with the help of friends. I am currently undergoing an assessment for BPD. The reason for this is that in 2015, my sister tragically took her own life in hospital under the Mental Health Act. Poor communication led to her taking life, and it was found later in the court inquest she had suffered from BPD. After learning of this, I did my own research and found many similarities.

Overall, being a mother is my life. Having gone from child to mother so fast, I don't actually have a self-identity. My childhood and teen years were stripped from me at a age, and the father of my children—well, let's just say we were 14 years old and 22 years old when the relationship started in 2012.

i am looking for support in getting clean and staying clean, feeling less alone in the world, getting my children back home to me and more importantly improving my mental health.