@Former-Member 

The ‘Art Against Stigma’ part of the BPD Awareness week website has terrific resources on ways in which the self-stigma can be ‘flipped’ and reframed as strengths. I highly recommended visiting it if you haven’t already (https://www.bpdawareness.com.au/art-against-stigma/).

Having said that, I know it’s not always easy to view something you are going through as a strength, for all sorts of reasons. A tip here may be to know that reframing does not always have to be about strengths. Sometimes it can feel painfully hard to see something that is causing you and/or others difficulty as a strength. In these situations, I would advocate for finding a way to reframe things that focuses on self-compassion.

There are many things that one can try in order to facilitate self-compassion, the internet is not short of lists of these things! Some important ingredients here may be to  be curious about what was happening for you (before the thing you want to reframe). What were you thinking? What were you feeling? What did you want to have happen? It’s very hard to reframe in a way that resonates with you unless you have some sort of understanding about what drove you to do what you did. Once you have a sense of this, consider how you would respond if someone close to you told you they felt this way – would you be as harsh to them as you are yourself?

This is not an instant fix to develop self-compassion, but it may be a starting point in  a longer journey. Different things will work for different people, and if you’re getting stuck in that process, it may be useful to speak with a therapist about it.