@The-red-centaur We all need to find some peace with the unwanted parts of ourselves. I know there's aspects of physical and emotional pain that really can and should be treated with appropriate pain relief, but @tyme's comment on radical acceptance reminded me of how I have recently been experimenting with a kind of radical acceptance of the unwanted parts of myself - unwanted by others. It's a way of accepting those who haven't accepted me (my interpretation) and that feels sort of liberating, like the next level of healing or even a way to claim my spot in someone's story. So the example is whenever that song comes on "Motor's Too Fast" with the lyrics "Mama don't want you, daddy don't want you" rather than endure it as some sort of perverted attack on innocence (the dark places the mind goes on the recovery journey), I'll reframe it as honest and pro-choice and if that's not enough I might need to counter the sentiment with a song like "Delete" - "don't delete my baby, don't defeat her still." Anyway, I sort of have to do that because there's always music playing at work that I have to be able to function through. I wonder what next level acceptance you might reclaim for the unwanted parts of yourself, your health, your thoughts? Thinking of that driving the bus analogy from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - rather than reject those unwanted thoughts, they can go and sit behind you in the bus where you're the driver, not your challenging thoughts. You are so talented at painting that ocean landscape, I have hope that you can sketch a more satisfying mental landscape for yourself.