Thank you @ENKELI 

That would be hard. 

Yeah, I did. I replied to you and said the uni wifi blocks it. What are the videos? Are they her movies or what? 

Thank you @ENKELI I wish I could take it away as well, but it's stuck with me. 

I don't know. Crying for number one, music, TV, but that's things I do anyway, so not much. 

I just feel so defeated. It was as if I was waiting for a pin to drop, and once it did, it burst me open. 

I don't know if my depression is getting worse, or I'm just a bad person, too sensitive or if I can't cope on my own. Maybe I'm too sensitive to rejection as well and just perceive everything as such. 

I feel like everything I do seems to be wrong (after I've done it and been told). It's like I can't do anything right anymore. I just hate the feeling of not talking to anyone. Like I'll call my family for a quick call, but other than that, no one. 

How I feel right now is as if I'm trying to get out of a very deep pool that has nothing to hold on to while people watch around me and are laughing. And the pool is made with my tears. 

Well, I've never thought of that before. This is in my imagination, by the way. 

I think I'm being a bit dark there, @ENKELI. I'm sorry. I thought it would better describe how I feel.