@Birdofparadise8 I'm not going to offer advice for you because I know that's not what you want - unless you ask me for advice and then I will.

Being alone for the holidays is very hard. One year I had worked Christmas Eve night and got home at 7am. I felt so heartbroken because it was like my family didn't even care about me not being able to attend Christmas lunch because I had to sleep to be ready for the next shift Christmas night. I spent the day crying and trying to sleep. Unfortunately my self-soothing involves staying in bed and trying to sleep which is okay once in a while but not ongoing and sleeping your life away.

Did you get my message about Tubi? There are seriously like 4 shows on TS. I thought that might give you something to do to help with the empty time.

My heart breaks that you are in so much pain, I wish I could take it from you. 

What do you do for self soothing?