@ENKELI 

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I literally can't stop sobbing. At least I have a PeerChat with RO tonight. They are always good, and I also have my favourite worker. I didn't realise how hard this was going to be. I'm literally struggling to type right now because of the crying and not being able to see. Why can't I cope with being alone? Why can't I be a person who prefers to be alone, and then none of this would be an issue? I wish it was Tuesday, so tomorrow would be Wednesday, and I would get to see my psych again. I only saw him yesterday, and I could already go back. There was so much I didn't get to say. We focused of anxious attachment and like what happened on Monday why it did. 

My psych said asking @Former-Member if she was going to be around is a checking behaviour. I swear, since I found out that no PSW will be on. I've been trying to see who will be around. It seems like not many. So, I've been doing the "checking" thing again. Gosh, I'm stuffed up. Why can't I get over this? Obviously, people go away when it's a holiday time. Ahh, I'm sorry, so @ENKELI 

He said I need to be able to self-soothe, but ahh, it's so hard when I can't stop crying. I've been so on edge all day, just waiting for something to tip me over the edge. The self-soothing meaning for the checking thing. 

Yes, that definitely doesn't help what your mum said. 

How long are you going away for?