@Birdofparadise8, we have a lot going in our subconscious. Correct me if I am wrong, but whenever you feel rejected it triggers a trauma response and reminds you of when you were bullied. Even your feelings of chronic loneliness may also be rooted in bullying. Whenever you feel like people are not responding to you, you sort of feel abandoned like you used to feel when you were younger. Perhaps you have thoughts of worthlessness playing up in your mind because you feel like nobody wants to talk to you. Your self worth seems to be dependent on others. I feel for you a lot can be tied in with your past experiences. I may be wrong, but this is the impression I get. Maybe you need to work on building up your self identity and self worth that is not dependent on others, creating an alternative narrative about your past experiences and focusing on your goals e.g., career goals, you have a lot ahead of you