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That’s no good to be left with those feelings @Birdofparadise8 but one thing I am sure about is you are very deserving of kindness and support.
I have worked in the NICU with premies and I can assure you they receive plenty of comfort when distressed. Even if they couldn’t be picked up we would stroke them if their mum as weren’t there.
I’m also studying human lifespan at uni this semester and one thing that was mentioned was paediatric amnesia which is why we don’t have those early memories.
Can you focus on something that will calm you tonight?
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