@Birdofparadise8 wrote:
I'm feeling really sad right now. I'm feeling quite overwhelmed. I'm unsure if it's related to what my psych wanted to discuss with me today or not. I'm just feeling like I'm a really bad undeserving person. I'm feeling really alone and like I'm doing something wrong.
Maybe this fear of abandonment stems all the way back to when I was born, and being in the hospital, I wouldn't be looked after every time I cried, so my psych said that. That would be felt as pain or rejection. Normally, when babies cry when they are full term, they are looked after by their parents. So a baby wouldn't go through that "pain" my psych is referring to.
Anyway, I just want to talk to someone. I don't like feeling like this.
We talked about how I was premature how I would be In hospital and that I wouldn't always have someone looking after me if I was crying and then that could lead to me in pain or feeling abandoned.
So, this deep abandonment could stem all the way back to being born.
And with the sadness. Then also with rejection not only around others but even my psych because he said I book the appointments so far in advance. But that is because I have a specific time to be available, and I don't want to miss an appointment. He said that's because I have a fear of rejection from him. But that is fair enough when I can only do that session. But maybe he is referring to my booking that is so far out.
@Eve7
