My next question then @Birdofparadise8 is how can you use those supports to develop those skills that help you just be with yourself at times that those supports are not available. I get where @tyme is coming from - and a lot of the issues you have now are no doubt from the years of bullying and not having your needs met but in order to begin putting those horrible times behind you and find a positive way forward, you also have to look within and what needs to change and make some positive steps forward in changing those things. It is of course essential you have an outlet to keep talking but you also need to have people in your life that will challenge you as well as help you make those steps to move forward.