@hiddenitemy angel, what do you mean you can't handle a trip to the super market, did something happen?  you have been through prolonged tumatic experiances, i would say your situation would be up their wit hthe treatment of the Jews in Aushwitz, or other concentration camps, where prolonged suffering took place, most of them after that traumatic experince have managed over time to rebuild their lives, Karen your situation is no different, you have been made to feel less of a person by your husband and parents, the words you call yourself is a way of hurting yourself like your family does, their is help out their if you seek it out, i know you have been let down many times, but Karen you need to pick yourself up and seek someone else.

You are lucky enough to have private health cover, take advantage of it, it would be good for you, and the girls.

Karen you are kind and caring, never forget that, i see you as a woman whom has been let down by family and society, i feel the same as you Karen, but we need to start to retrain ourselves to use positive language.  Karen you have always been told you are nothing, now you believe it, right? so if you start telling yourself you are a strong, kind and caring woman, it stands to reason that over time you will believe this to, doesn't it?

Karen you will not get better instantly, it will take time to recover from your trauma, your tourcher, but it can happen if you want it.

sorry this is so long, but i feel i have let you down, by not giving you the right words to free yourself from your past.

Hang in their my angel,  in time their will be less pain and hurt

Jacques