Hi @Appleblossom 

I have a beautiful ‘safe’ space in my head. I can see it and feel it and smell it. I’ve never shared much about my safe space because it’s mine and only mine, I’ve never even attempted painting it. It’s so fragile. It’s not a castle or a cave. I often don’t know how I end up there. But just thinking about it I want to go back and stay, I’ve tried that before but I can only stay if I die. It’s not paradise or something, it’s just my space. It’s where I go when I’m too much for myself, there are a lot of ghosts in my head and a constant battle between my parts and I just want out. When my friend died by suicide, shortly after my last attempt, for a long time I was glad that they finally had peace. I saw the devastation they left behind and I’m sad they’re gone and that they don’t have another chance and I’m grateful I have that chance but it’s a struggle. People say it’s a permanent solution for a temporary problem, I think for some of us it’s a permanent solution for a permanent problem. I know my thoughts and beliefs around suicide are in this culture (maybe in none, I don’t know) socially not acceptable and I won’t continue voicing more of them here. I just like my safe space and when the world seems unreal and I’m watching myself from the outside, I might just as well go home into my safe space. How do you come back from your safe space apple?