I have my first appointment with the psychologist this afternoon. My anxiety has been horrible the last couple of days and I don’t feel good this morning. I have so many concerns going into my appointment and questioning whether it’s the right thing. I’m terrified to open up wounds, to talk about what has transpired over the last 6 yrs that has got me to where I am today. I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to talk about some of the issues and I am so scared of opening up things and then leaving the appointment with a gaping hole for me to then manage on my own. I really struggle with not feeling safe the majority of the time at the moment and fearful that I will not have control of that and will do something that I shouldn’t. 

My appointment is not until 4pm, which means I’ll have to leave and head straight home to do dinner and get my daughter into bed- all of which are a stressful process at the best of time. 

😩