The hair vid was another good distraction. @HenryX 

Neighbourly chats have touched on hair recently.

One lady mad on vaxxes and clean clean clean is proud of making 2 visits to hairdressers to make up for missing out in lockdown.  I am not that sympathetic about "poor me, no hairdresser", as I have done my own hair most of life.   2 doors down the anti vax guy was telling me has stopped using shampoo and his hair is clean.  He actually specifies that he is pro freedom, which are the new  It takes all types in a crazy world.  I am somewhere between them, and yes am pretty over excess personal care products.  Trying to encourage people to appreciate the goodness in dirt ... it helps grows good things too.  Another spectrum where we need to find balance, as you seem aware of with your measured long posts.

The level of fragmentation in my family was serious going back generations now with 2 generations, including me, spending time in "out of home" care.  Then the shame of all that and the life and death consequences have rolling effects. Their shame was more important than anything that happened to me or sibs. Feuds between 'sisters who had a rich hubby and a dead one' meant all the other successful ones kept their noses down and forgot any compassionate sensibilities for the poor rellies.

I have an aunt who said 'what goes around comes around' too much, and when I made a statement once she did not like it, but I had felt silenced too often, and see it tossed around from positions of power.  I used listening skills not talking ones.  I am better at typing than talking.   lol ... and finally feel a bit heard, and tbh it was part of my impetus to keep posting on the forum.  I need to put 'this' on the airwaves ... kind of thing ....

I am also nerdy enough to look at it from a non personal approach and have to raise the issue that in fragmented systems "normal" feedback loops are broken. That happened within family relationships and also within state service relationships, which were all a bit jumbled up in my life.  Not a clear distinction between public. private, state, family, or even church, and social.  I am not deliberately making things complicated its just that they were. 12 schools before secondary, but at least school had some logic I could discern, most other things that happened did not.