@down_not_out 

Congrats on getting off meds for a year.  We are working on it in our house.  

Serious SA happens to men too. Outrageous that people in positions of power can get away with it, but they often do. Happened to 2 of my loved ones, and partly why I keep a fire going in my belly and stay active on the forum.

Finding someone to work through trauma is difficult but keep trying, and do your own research online.  That has been way the most helpful for me.  That way you will recognise more easily when you do find someone you can trust enough to do the work.

This year I have more headway in integrating my trauma, but it helps to be finally in a relatively safe place.  It sounds as if you may be ready to work through it with a few ups and downs and dealing with triggers ... and still get through it.  Having done one's own research about it, helps the subconscious gradually absorb the information and process it as it does its things in our dreams and in our general thinking.

Peter Levine

Bessel van der Kolk

are good with trauma theory

Polyvagal ... and understanding the human nervous system ... eg Rest and Digest aspect ... seem to be relevant too....

What resonates for you may be different than what resonates for me, but going into it in an informed manner is helpful for  ... all health issues ... we should not be expected to be totally passive trusting patients ... with the expert doctor put on a high pedestal ... that is partly what can lead to the outrages that have occurred ...

Good Luck

Apple

Institutional abuse ... Hmmm