Hi @fluffylight 

Thank you so much for the kind words and support.

The incident happened 10 years ago and was the catalyst for the breakdown of my marriage and the loss of my house and career. I never spoke about it with my ex-partner and chose to destroy myself with prescription meds. I've recently ceased the meds, with support from my GP. 

I have the loving support of my current partner and feel safe as long as I do not venture out of the house.

At the end of last year, I saw a new psychiatrist and spoke about what happened in a broad sense. The Dr was able to obtain my history and I felt as though I was being heard. I told her that it was acceptable to remain objective about my situation as we had just met. I've worked in MH before but am not good at advocating for myself.

She suggested that I visit a local men's shed but I am not comfortable doing that. I was bullied in a blue-collar setting so that is a big nope for me.

Minimizing the experience has been a coping mechanism for me. If only I had spoken up about it earlier...