I don’t have the heart to be a police officer @Former-Member . I reckon you have to be so desensitised to terrible situations in order to survive. I’ve never met a successful borderline police officer. I think a borderline would feel too much.

I have though, met heaps of borderline nurses and teachers. I think it suits borderlines well because we have the compassion that’s needed for these jobs.

As for triggers, police are a huge trigger for me too. I’ve dealt with too many police in my BPD journey to be able to shake off the trigger. My police stories are horrendous. I’ve got goosebumps just thinking about it. 

I’m sorry it’s so hard for you right now. I had another trigger tonight and I feel very hurt. I went all out to try and help someone and they have turned around to say everything was my fault.

Its happened to me so many times. Maybe that is to tell me I need to stop caring so much. Even at school, I want to help teachers so I do what I can. Then the deputy told me on Fri, ‘That’s not your job. It’s their issue, let them deal with it’… which is true. I just care too much.

 But would I exchange my big heart for any other? No! However, I do need to learn to not get it hurt so often.

Hugs to you @Former-Member . I hear it’s so hard right now but know you are not alone. I’ve been down this rough paths. And I’m still here to share my story. You can do it @Former-Member ! I’m here for you.