Hey @BPDSurvivor 

I totally get it!!

I am reading through your reply and I think i am between 2 and 3.  It's so hard, so draining.  I need to get my head around the fact that it's okay to make mistakes, it's ok to not feel good. I have so much good/bad; perfect/not perfect; black and white thinking.  

I am doing some meditation at times when i am feeling ok; not just when I am not well.  

When i was listening to my 'inner negative voice' on Monday at work i went downhill straightaway.  By tuesday i was a negative emotional mess at my doctor's.  I explained this yesterday to the psychologist in group therapy and he said i need to not listen to the 'inner voice' or he calls it 'the radio' because it just goes on and on and on.  So what i need to do is stop it the instant the voice or thoughts come into my head.  Before it even makes me feel so terrible.  Does this make sense.  Or even tell myself 'oh here goes that radio again".

Thank you, you have explained it really well.  

If i have any other questions I'll let you know.

BB