Thanks for sharing @BPDSurvivor

validation was never shown or given to me. I was always shut down. It was always my mum's way. She never validated me as a daughter, a person. As an adult  Anything I suggested or gave my opinion was squashed by her. 
I thought about my childhood the other night. Twice I tried to run away. Once from school I left and told no one. The other was a doctors appt thst my brother (one of my abusers) and I had to go to. Don't know why my mum didn't take me. But I ran away from that too. 

to not be validated feels like I'm a nothing. I'm useless. 
I had no school friends. I wasn't allowed to go to school functions. No camp etc. 

I have no photos of my childhood nothing. I feel like I don't exist.