Hey @Crushedreed ,

Of course it's not too much for me to respond! Thank you so much for reaching out!

With your question around how your wife's story changes, from a fellow BPD-er's perspective, I see it as a result of trauma. In my BPD head, for me, there is a HUGE amount of internal dialogue. And the more one talks about a situation in their head, the more it is believable, even if it's not true.

For example, in my life, I'd flip from being totally 'happy' to feeling intense rage. Why? Because someone added a full stop (.) at the end of their text message. To be, it was a sign of them wanting me to stop talking, be quiet or go away. This in turn was a sign that they wanted to leave me or have nothing to do with me. This in turn turned to them hating me. Which eventually led to, "they are abusing me emotionally"...

Can you see how the narrative changes?

You asked whether you should try to impose you story on her. 

I can say yes, and I can't say no. I can't say yes, because it's not about whether you do it or not, but HOW you do it and WHEN you do it. 

Also, I can't say no, don't try and correct the story, because she may continue to go on and the story grows even more. 

So yes, it's a bit of a rock in a hard place.

What do you feel is right for her at this time? Do you have the energy to pursue your story? And IF you do, when and how will you go through this?

I'm imagining that life is pretty hectic for you. Yet I also know first hand that your wife's whole world may be chaotic...

I really see so many elements for complex trauma - I'm not saying from you... but who knows what the past was like (including her childhood)???

Main thing is, you MUST look after yourself first. In any relationship, if you feel you need to step away because of your own mental health, by all means, do it.

I'll wait to hear your response.