I can take your advice on revisiting this boundary in a time that is calm. 

She is so incredibly sensitive, that any constructive feedback, quickly escalates into a tirade at me. Even when I offer to talk with coffee and breakfast. 

it is calm when I don’t say anything. So I guess she is being challenged to sit in a space of discomfort. 

re BPD. I have raised my concerns early in marriage. This turned into 5 years of convincing me that I have BPD and me getting treatment for it, against the advice of family, friends, therapists and psychiatrist. I was in severe denial. 

I am a fan of DBT therapy tho. 

I don’t know what she wants out of the marriage. I do know she was a strong need not to be abandoned and separation is a scary space for her .

at the moment any discomfort she has, she sees as my fault. I have validated and enabled this close to a decade. So obviously she has no reason to change as I supported it. 

it’s growth for me to stand my ground. I guess this is a protest from her and If I stay consistent there is chance of change in relationship as she still want to not be abandoned. 

you ask good questions as a BPD”er. Thank you!