@Crushedreed thank you for sharing your experience with us. My husband has complex-PTSD that can sometimes come out as BPD.

I think you are doing all the right things. I understand your empathy. 

I think couple counselling can help where you are both in neutral ground and can feel heard. 

I hope things are peaceful in your house today.

Take time for yourself and connect with people that make you feel appreciated.

Our partners navigating such mental health conditions don't make it easy for us to always feel like we want to be around them.

It's OK to walk away for time on your own and try to reconnect when you are ready.

Wishing you the best. Take care of yourself.