Lived Experience Forum

[Torturedsoul86]

I have been majorly depressed for months now. Seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, taking medication. Been told I'm doing all the right things but still battling this horrible feeling with no hope or relief.. I just want to feel normal again. I hate this!

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey @Torturedsoul86 

Welcome to the Forums! We are glad to have you here.

It can be so frustrating when we are doing all of the "right things" and yet still aren't feeling our best. I can definitely relate to that myself and perhaps many others here can, too. It can be such a powerless feeling. 

From my own experience of depression for around 10y, I have learned that it can take a lot of frustration and trial-and-error for things to start to feel better. I had to try many different medications and dosages to finally feel somewhat normal. 

Of course - it is easy to say this with the benefit of hindsight. When you are in the thick of it, it feels like things will never just feel easy again. 

You have done a lot of work and even knowing what doesn't work for you is valuable information to have. 

I wish I could take it all away for you. In the meantime, know that we are sitting with you 💜 

[Little_Leopard]

Hey there.

It’s good that you have found your way here. I am newish here and from what I have gathered this place is a very supportive place to be. Many people here know how hard it is. So you are in the right place! Do t that’s some good news for you 🙂

You can also use the call support services which I can say I personally used once and I found them to be great and easy to talk to. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Torturedsoul86 , you are not alone. I’ve been down there before. It took a long time to get out. It was a mix of medication and psychotherapy which helped.

 As hard as it is, can you think of protective factors that keep you safe?

 For me, it was work and children. These two things meant I had to stay alive even though things were so bleak and dark.

 Walking with you. You are not alone.

[Zoe7]

Hi @Torturedsoul86 It can feel like there will never be an end to our feelings with depression and we can feel there is no hope. Unfortunately there are often no quick fixes, even when we are doing all the right things. I was exactly where you are now despite doing all the same things and it took over 3 years to be in a better place where I could function 'normally' again - with nearly 2 years of that being unbearable most days. I had so many med changes that I lost count but once we found the right ones things began to change ever so slightly ...which also gave me more energy to face everything and bit by bit things became easier.

I also had so much support from right here on the forums. There were many that held out that hope for me when I could not see any for myself. It is great that you have found us and I hope you also feel that support yourself. Welcome to the forums 😁

[Captain24]

Hi @Torturedsoul86 

Welcome to the forums. I totally understand what you are saying. I feel that currently. I’m doing everything I can to recover but sometimes feel like I’m getting nowhere. 

i just recently got diagnosed as bipolar type 2 and had a complete medication change. Previously I was diagnosed as clinical depression. Since changing meds now my days feel a lot better but then when evening rolls around I go back into a depression. However most nights it’s mild but some nights it becomes really dark and I don’t know how to stop it. 

I currently have a Mental health team behind me and other forumites behind me to keep me safe and support me through this journey. 

This is my journey and everyone has a different journey to recovery. Just know that you are not alone and others are feeling or have felt a similar way. 

You have shown strength already by reaching out here. 

Stay strong and know we are here for you

Captain24

[Torturedsoul86]

Really struggling! It feels like I'm never goanna get better 😞

[Peregrinefalcon]

Sounds like things are feeling pretty tough right now @Torturedsoul86 💛 We are sitting with you and here if you want to chat about it at all 

[TuxedoCat]

Hey @Torturedsoul86 I'm really sorry to hear that it feels like it's not going to end. It's awesome to hear you've been getting support. And it seems like that if you're reaching out to the forums, you're trying new things to see what else might help.

Is there anything you can try today to change up your space or distract yourself for a moment? I find sometimes that the feelings of "never-going-to-end" can feel a bit less when I distract myself for a little while. I often wind up playing video games for a few hours. 

On the forums, we often call each others coping strategies our "toolbox" and I'm wondering if you've got anything in there you can use today?

If you feel like you want to talk to someone over the phone, we also have a drop-in counselling phone line or webchat which can be really helpful if you're a bit stuck. If you want, here are the different options.

Do you reckon that would be helpful?

[Torturedsoul86]

I'm finding that no matter what I do this awful feeling just won't go away..