Lived Experience Forum

[Frankiefrofro]

Ahoy there. Ive just arrived in this forum. 

I’ve been medicated for depression for 5 years. In August I went off those meds because of unwanted weight gain. Yep, definitely need those meds. Glad I checked: suicidal ideation, intense and disturbing anxiety and loss of reason. 

I have three months of no work ahead of me which terrifies me. I find boredom quite painful but I’m not motivated at all. Flat as a pancake. Just walking to the car makes me rethink going anywhere. But being idle bothers me - like I’m wasting my life!

Anyway, that’s me. 

[hanami]

Hi @Frankiefrofro 

Welcome! I'm one of the moderators here on the forums. Making decisions about meds can be so hard. I know I've had unwanted side effects from different medications for my anxiety. I've come off them, determined to do well, but then end up back on them. It's tough. Do you have any other strategies to help ease your symptoms of depression?

Any strategies for future work? That must be tough in itself, having to imagine if you'll be ok. 

Many hugs to you

Hanami

[Frankiefrofro]

That's kind of you to respond. My work will kick off again in Feb so I know that is OK. It is just the massive hunk of time to fill and that sounds luxurious but it's not when depressed! The only other strategy I have for managing my mood is exercise. That is a struggle also. I love a good win-win but right now I feel like I am in a lose-lose. 

[hanami]

Glad to hear you have work in Feb @Frankiefrofro but not glad you have that time stretched out being depressed.

I find exercise to be a great way of managing my anxiety. But I feel if I was depressed that would be a lot harder to motivate myself. I have a fear of losing my fitness if I stop so that usually keeps me going. I imagine you feel really hard to feel motivated to exercise right now. Do you have a pet you could take for a walk - if not, could you borrow a friend's pet? That could be a good motivator. Or just going somewhere in nature can be uplifting. Even if you have no intention of exercising it could be a good way to get it in without even realising. A trip to the beach could turn into a walk as could a trip to the mountains/bush.

Hanami

[Frankiefrofro]

Yes, I have a dog and I live right at the beach. I can see it from my house! My dog is looking up at me right now. I have all the tools. Just lack the energy in the most profound way - like my arms are too heavy to lift.

[hanami]

@Frankiefrofro maybe you could just go and sit outside with your dog while you're feeling this way. I know sitting outside for me, makes me feel a bit energised after being inside for a time. I hope you can find some way to enjoy this down time.

🤗

[Frankiefrofro]

THANKS. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. In a perfect world I would find a job working outdoors during the summer so I will look for that...

[hanami]

My husband used to work as a lifeguard during summer. He loved it. He was 'stationed' on a a quiter beach and used to read when it wasn't busy and go for a swim. Not sure what other jobs you could do during summer but it's worth thinking about if that's what you like and could make you feel better. 

I hope something comes up! @Frankiefrofro 

[nervouswreck]

@Frankiefrofro I have a smaller dose of that (being tired, but then regret wasting time if I don’t do anything).

What helps me is just to start doing something easy.  Pick the easiest thing that you could do and commit to it for a short time. Maybe that’s unpacking the dishwasher or taking doggo to the beach for 5 mins.  Often you’ll find that once you’ve started you’ll do more than you committed to, but if you don’t then that’s ok too.

Another version of that is to make sure you don’t have any “zero” days (days where you do absolutely nothing useful).  As long as you tick one small thing off it’s not a zero day and that’s enough.

[Frankiefrofro]

That's good advice. Thanks for your reply. Yesterday I had planned to do two things. I got one of them done. Woot! Today I will put my body in the ocean and tidy my desk. Small steps.