Lived Experience Forum

[TuxedoCat]

Heya @Willy73,

I just wanted to check in with you today and see how you're feeling? 

Such a beautiful thought about everything and everyone being born from star dust  ⭐ And I think so many of us feel scared of a therapist judging us, but I really hope they don't make you feel like that! It sounds like you've really let go of some of those worries to focus on your wellness, and it's so nice to hear ❤️ 

[Willy73]

Thanks so much TuxedoCat for checking in. I’m doing ok and am having an initial zoom consult Friday. I’ve been working from home, I think I need that normalcy. I’m (as is my immediate family) pretty much in a holding pattern, waiting on coroner, funeral arrangements etc. The terrible news about 5 young lives lost yesterday and the immense grief and guilt the survivor would be feeling, is putting things into perspective for me. 

[tyme]

Hey @Willy73 ,

I'll just tag @TuxedoCat by typing "@" in front of their name so they get a notification.

Nice to e-meet you 🙂

@TuxedoCat - I believe the above message is for you.

[TuxedoCat]

Thanks for the tag @tyme 

I'm so glad you've got the consult today @Willy73. I hope it goes really well ❤️ How are you feeling about it?

I imagine the waiting game for the results and funeral and next steps is a very strange time, wanting a sense of normalcy sounds like a completely understandable reaction. I know for me, the days between getting news of a death and the funeral feel very surreal. 

And yes, it's such tragic news. But just know, however you're feeling is completely ok ❤️ 

Have you got anything planned for the next few days? 

[Willy73]

Hi @TuxedoCat (finally got the @ thing right)

Thanks again for following up with me. The consult went well. I’m going to start regular sessions next week and see how they go - my therapist will be sending me some ‘homework’ and I’m just going to go with the flow with my first couple of sessions. The weather at the moment is pretty miserable (I enjoy gardening as therapy). My son is turning 21 on Monday, so might take him clothes shopping this weekend as well as do some odd jobs around the house.

We still don’t know when the funeral is. My uncle’s body was meant to be released today from the coroner. It’s pretty much a holding pattern while we wait to hear how and when things are happening. I feel ok, just anxious about this next week coming up and seeing and hearing his loved ones in pain, that’s really eating me up. Next week is when things will be real and not this weird kind of limbo. So will keep myself busy and wait.

I Hope you have a lovely weekend even if the weather is pretty sucky everywhere in Australia at the moment.

[Zoe7]

@Willy73 Great to see you reaching out here and getting support. Hope you are doing as okay as you can be tonight.

[TuxedoCat]

you got the @ thing right! @Willy73 

I'm so glad the consult went well. I can't wait to hear how it all goes for you ❤️ 

It's very understandable that you're feeling pretty worried and anxious about the funeral and seeing his family. It probably will be difficult, but you can respond and react however you need to the situation. Are there any ideas you have to take care of yourself during this week and during the funeral? 

And remember, what happened is not your fault ❤️ Zoe7s post above really resonated with me and I wonder if it might for you too

[Willy73]

Hi @TuxedoCat and @Zoe7

I’ve been keeping busy. On Saturday I took my eldest son shopping everywhere for colourful iron on patches for his new backpack (which I had to iron on!). He’s going on his third trip to America.

On Sunday it was my other son’s 21st birthday, so took him clothes shopping, made him get a haircut and watched him get his ears pierced (his very first piercings). We had a good talk about what he wants to do with his life. Both boys have been very supportive.

Today I messaged my cousin and asked if it would be alright with him and his mum and brothers if I could attend my uncles funeral and pay my respects. He gave his blessing and I am very grateful. I’ve been working today, shopping for a funeral outfit during lunch and tomorrow will get a haircut during my lunch break. I need to keep myself busy (I think that’s my self care). My dad and I will start travelling Wednesday morning as it’s a 13 hour trip. I’m just going to let the day on Friday unfold, what will be, will be. I’m now thinking about the things I need to do and how I’m going to do it to be healthy physically and mentally (My other new form of self care).

I’m not this open with complete strangers (or even friends for that matter), thank you for your constructive advice and kind words.

Anonymous forums such as this really provide so much.

[Zoe7]

Great to have you here and even better than you feel comfortable to connect and talk @Willy73 😁

[TuxedoCat]

@Willy73 I'm so glad you've found the space good for you. I also love the anonymity ❤️ And those self-care strategies sounds great! 

I'm so glad you reached out to your cousin to get them and their family's blessing. I imagine it's been healing in some way. 

❤️ TuxedoCat