Lived Experience Forum

[Kiki16]

Hello everyone,

I hope all is okay. 
I would like to express my thoughts around my diagnosis of Borderline Personality. 
I was diagnosed in 2021 from having two sessions with a Clinical Psych. 
The reason for my conflicting acceptance of this, is I do not identify with it 1. Being a personality disorder, for myself I feel as though I definitely have mood dysregulation and emotional instability. I have really great friends in my life, however struggle with romantic partnerships due to my instable mental health. At time’s depression is very adamant as well as anxiety. Recently I am realising I struggle holding down a job, and have struggled with eating disorder’s (bulimia and severely underweight - edited by moderator) and have alcohol abuse issue’s/ addiction issue’s. So it’s a big combination of compiled complex mental health, oh not to mention past trauma’s! However, borderline just feel’s so intrusive and I have had friend’s I have been close to for a very long time, and have alot of friends. I definitely go through periods of splitting, but more so when I am severely depressed I had to obviously be positive so therefore the truth come’s out about someone, compared to when I am feeling more stable I am able to hide/ cover how I truly feel more. 
Anyway’s I can relate to emotional dysregulation disorder but not BPD it does not feel correct and it feels to vague. BPD is not a personality disorder but a mood - based disorder, the name doesn’t make sense.  What are other people’s thoughts on the term borderline personality disorder?

[tyme]

Hey @Kiki16 ,

I certainly hear you and so do many others. I have BPD. There has been talk about changing the name for a long time because the term "borderline personality disorder" implies that something is innately wrong with our personality - which is actually not accurate.

Suggestions of more accurate names include Complex Trauma. 

With my BPD, I certainly had co-morbidities such as anxiety and depression which could be supported with medication. I also had a span of 10 years where I was on mood stabilisers - but my treating team realised it wasn't mood, but BPD. So I was taken off the mood stabilisers and I didn't have any side effects of stopping them abruptly - prob because they weren't doing anything for me in the first place!

For me, the term 'BPD' was an ah-ha moment where I could say that what I was going through had a name. I was then able to seek specialised treatment for BPD.

However, if you are not looking for specific BPD treatment, then it's totally okay if you don't quite agree with the label - that's totally okay.

At the same time, one person with BPD can vary greatly to another person with BPD. There are 9 BPD traits and you only need to have symptoms of 5 out of the 9 traits to be diagnosed with BPD. Do you realise how many combinations there can be? Therefore, grouping all borderlines into one category cannot be done. We are all different.

Do what works for you @Kiki16 

[Kiki16]

Thank you for your reply, it is much appreciated and to hear from a different perspective it makes me feel less alone! 

[tyme]

Hey @Kiki16 ,

Yes, you are certainly not alone when it comes to changing the name for BPD. The name itself can be deceiving and I think it causes the stigma associated with it. So many professionals don't like helping people with BPD because you can't 'see' the change as quick as other conditions.

Do you have supports in place to help you navigate some of what you are going through?

[Jasper_123]

Hey @Kiki16 ! I also have BPD and don't rate the name very highly. I will often use C-PTSD instead. I wonder why you are having mixed feelings? A lot of the symptoms you explained are often related to BPD for example alcoholism (impulsive behaviour) and eating disorder (sense of self/poor self image). 

For me being diagnosed with BPD was brilliant, it gave me the language to explain my feelings and behaviours and to research what had helped other people on the same journey as me. 

[tyme]

How are things going for you @Kiki16 ?

[Kiki16]

hey thanks for the replies! I am feeling slightly average still. Coming to terms with my own understanding of it. I definitely relate to it being a mood disorder depression and anxiety which can feel uncontrollable at time’s. 

[tyme]

So true @Kiki16 - it's totally understandable that you feel so uncontrollable sometimes. I can certainly relate.

I think for me, I needed to do a lot of constructive self-talk to help re-train how I think. If I didn't do that, I'd find myself falling into all those unhelpful thinking patterns all the time (which I did for many years!)

I look forward to hearing how things go for you in days to come.