Lived Experience Forum

[chacha]

For 4 weeks I've been sleeping 2 hrs average a night. I'm going crazy. Husband doesn't like taking to me. I work non stop trying to get a job. Got laid off at Christmas. Was good job for me and mental health. Now I have to find something like that again. I'm scared. I eat enough donuts at one time to go into a coma. I'm bipolar 2. My husband will leave eventually. I work my ass off trying to be normal all day. Then stay up so I can be me. I'm so up and down.... What is that all in one day?

[Lunar]

Hello @chacha,

It sounds like there is a lot going on for you at the moment, the sleeping seems to be the main issue because if you are able to get a good night's sleep then you might be able to get through the day feeling a little better.

What kind of support are you getting for your bipolar at the moment? Have you been able to talk with a psychologist/counsellor/GP about your sleeping problem?

It's good you are using the forum to help get some extra support 🙂

Lunar

[utopia]

@chacha. You must be truly exhausted. Not just from the lack of sleep and worrying about getting a new job - but also not being able to be you. That must be really hard & take a lit of energy from you.
Do you have a mental health team? It might be good to get in touch with them and let them know your sleep pattern has changed badly.
I wonder if your sleep changed when you lost your job?
Can you talk to your husband about how you are feeling?
What about with your mental health team or a good friend.
It sounds very you need some support in coping at the moment.

[chacha]

I can't make myself smile. I struggled through work. Fell asleep once. I never do that.

[utopia]

@chacha. I really think you should at least see your gp. There could be an underlying cause as to why you are not sleeping. Can you make an appointment to see your doctor tomorrow or Thursday?

[utopia]

@chacha. I know when I wasn't sleeping much - early last year - I couldn't even think straight - & my depression got so bad - I couldn't manage it.
We need sleep for our brain to be able to take a rest and recover from the day - just like our body needs to rest.
I went and saw my gp - when I was in a similar state to you. I'm so glad I did.

[chacha]

I have a pill that I occasionally take when I can't sleep. I probably take half a pill 2x a month. I called my psychiatrist's back up while my psychiatrist has been on holiday this month. He upped it to 2pillz a night, and I STILL couldn't sleep. I see my doc on Thurs so I'll sort it. I normally go weekly.

[chacha]

Called lifeline today to have a cry. Told me how resilient I am. He likely tells everyone that. Fell asleep at work bc took a pill for anxiety. Oh well, nobody noticed. I'm redundant in 2 days and have no purpose anyway. I isolated myself at lunch. Can't do their small talk when all i wonder are the ins and outs of their unethical actions around my redundancy. Called a DES today to get info. Freaked out I have to disclose my illness to centrelink to get help with a job. I can get a job in the open market, but will it be a job that keeps me well? Unlikely. Cry. I don't know what to do.

[Former-Member]

Hi @chacha

you're facing a lot of uncertainty.. not surprising things are hard. Centrelink... gah! rules and regulations that are no good for the individual person, very dehumanising.

Im glad you were able to call lifeline, and cry. It sounds like you are being resilient, though i get what you mean about thinking they say it to everyone... 

Take care

lj

[utopia]

@chacha. I've just been given the go ahead tolook for a job. Due to my MI & my allergies - they have placed me with a job network that specialises in ddisabilities.
In a way, it's a lot better that the general job seeker networks.
You don't have to apply for as many jobs or a full time job - if thatvis beyond you.
And you don't have to accept vjust any job.
I can do most jobs. But my priority is making sure my workplace is safe and my boss and staff are gentle. No aggression.
Do you have an appointment to see your new job network support?