Lived Experience Forum

[Dark_Olena]

Wow,  How is it that some posters can write a title and get many posts of support and I cant get jack on a whole paragraph. Is it about how familiar someone is or how much support they may offer in return or how well known they may have become? When I post it is out of pure anguish and seeking help. I am not in anyway having a go at the title with no words post, but it just smacked me in the face of maybe they are well known, here, and me not so much. This does not mean I dont need support. I'm taking leave to seek solace elsewhere. I dont offer alot in the way of support as I am not in that place of confidence to offer advice in return.

[Former-Member]

hello @Dark_Olena

don't feel disheartened some people are on here constantly....they need constant interaction for varying reasons...they then develop a following of others....this might be the only contact with people that they have

we all deal with our issues differently

understandable that you feel dismissed...disregarded...I get that ...however when you dont get a response straight away it does not mean that you are any less important or deserving of help...of being noticed...of being heard

you just havent been at the front of the queue all  day waving madly ...you have just joined the queue

some of us dont like all of that attention and in our real lives probably dont enter into much small talk very often other than to be polite...this is me anyway

I just want you to know that you are probably not alone in thinking this, there will be other people who feel the same as you do....they just don't express it

the forums can be very helpful for a certain number of people who like the constant interaction and also feel disclusive for others...it should not be this way....society

so please dont feel that there is a measure of how much support you give to how much you receive...that is not the way this should work

I am listening to you if you want someone to hear how you are feeling

[Zoe7]

@Dark_Olena @Former-Member

It is often the case also that a member will start one or two new threads and anyone that has also started a thread asking for or needing support gets pushed down the list and is often not seen. Sometimes I believe that these new threads are unnecesaary to start as they have exactly the same content as already existing threads. It does make for a 'crowded' forum sometimes, and I believe is also a deterrent to some who are unable to or do not want to navigate their way around so much activity.

In saying that I am one that does receive quite a bit of support here - and I give it also. I have also set my notifications however to only posts from certain threads and when I am @mentioned . This has been necessary for me to try and 'avoid' discussions that are ongoing and often long running but that I am not a regular contributor to.

I also have a small group of 'supporters' that I interact with regularly - this was not always the case - but I have found it necessary to 'look after myself' and avoid the best I can triggering or distressing posts.

In saying all that @Dark_Olena I would be more than happy to have an ongoing conversation with both you and @Former-Member here - allowing you the freedom and openness to write/talk about how YOU are going and provide whatever support we are able to. If you @mention me I will receive the post and I will always get back to you. So please reconsider taking time away and let us know exactly how YOU are doing - everyone here should feel welcomed and listened to and I am so sorry that you have not felt this up to this point.

[Former-Member]

@Dark_Olena @Zoe7

I believe that you have brought up an important subject @Dark_Olena one that should not be taken lightly

these forums are for everyone regardless of what they write or how often or to whom

feeling the way you do is important feedback for a forum website set up in this format

@Zoe7 I think that you also raised an important point about the threads being pushed down as each new one is written...a bit like a massive conveyancer belt

what is most important though now is you @Dark_Olena we both want you to feel comfortable on here and I am sure that others will follow once they see responses

some people just dont like being the first to reply also

whereas I am one who sees that there is no response and I have to just jump in hopefully wiping my great clumsy clod hoppers

I am off to finish cooking dinner. If I am not back on tonight, I should visit some time tomorrow

hoping to speak then  

take care both of you

[Zoe7]

I too believe you have brought up an extremely important point here @Dark_Olena. It also raises the additional question of how are new members expected to navigate their way around AND receive support if they are not 'known' within the forum already. I have seen many, many new members come and go (often in the early hours of the morning) and I believe for some it is because they have not received ongoing support or gotten 'lost' in the system.

I am so glad that you have raised this issue @Dark_Olena because I agree with @Former-Member that these forums are for everyone regardless of what they write or how often etc. 

No-one on here should ever feel like they do not belong or are not being supported - that is the essence of this forum - and if that becomes no longer the case for the majority (even even one person) then the whole essence of this forum will begin to fall apart. We cannot please everyone all the time but we can support everyone some of the time!

[Former-Member]

To be honest I feel unwelcome and not supported quite often on here.
I once got to the point of deliberately mentioning methods of S so that it would get deleted and I'd at least know someone had read what I wrote.
I think it's a combo of having to put yourself out there and there also needing to be some mechanism to stop posts getting 'lost' so to speak. I think if new posts were more noticeable, they would get more support.
Hi @Dark_Olena, we haven't met. I'm 5-HT.
Thank you for your post, it's been something I've been thinking of for quite some time. I hope that you stay here and that you get the support that you need.

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member Totally agree with everything you wrote - hearing you 

The same goes for you - if you need support then @mention me - that is the only way I usually respond these days.

[Former-Member]

@NikNik, I've been thinking for a long time that it would be helpful to have the 'latest comments' box to have twice the number of comments - gives you a bit more of a chance to see new posts before they get washed away in the tide.
Also can we have some way that when you click on a discussion topic, new threads are highlighted if it's not received a response?
I have no idea if these things are possible, but I've been secretly wanting this for a while.

[Zoe7]

They are all excellent ideas @Former-Member - some of which I have been thinking along the same lines we should have if it is possible.

[NikNik]

Always up for new ideas @Former-Member !
Can I ask a HUGE favour? Can you post these ideas in a new thread in Discussion Topic 'About the forum, including feedback & news' so we don't lose it?