Lived Experience Forum

[KindHeartedSoul]

Can anyone help me please? How can I make this stop? What do I need to do and can anyone tell me something that will make the pain go away? I can’t handle it anymore., Im at my wits end now? I really need some relief from all these., Im giving it one last go or else I’ll jump over the line where I can never come back from!!! I know this forum is not a crisis thing but it’s my only chance… the line has been drawn and I’m afraid that once I cross over that’s the end of me.. help me save this 1% in me…

[rockypug]

Hi  @KindHeartedSoul 

I'm one of the moderators here tonight,

I have sent you a private email.

[KindHeartedSoul]

I feel that today is the day… I’m ready to go. Im ready to let go and let it be. Time and time again I’m in this position… acting on it seems to be the better option or atleast the only solution to this never ending problem… I can’t fight anymore, I fought long and hard it’s probably time to let go and hope that it’ll be the last one. I think there’s no other option but ultimately end it my way. This is the best it’ll get. I’m actually okay with the idea and have truly accepted that it’s my destiny… just let me go…

[NatureLover]

@KindHeartedSoul  I'm very sorry to hear you feel you're at the end and you have a plan in place to end your life 😞

I'm going to call a @moderator 

[Wanda]

hi @NatureLover, we have contacted kindheartedsoul

[Learninggrowing]

@KindHeartedSoul 

thinking of you and hoping you are ok as you can be during this difficult time. 

I have experienced many of the same emotions and thoughts that you have mentioned. It's not a nice place to be when you just want the mind to stop and rest. 

I want you to know you are not alone and I'm always here for a chat. Sending you strength right now 💛 

Learninggrowing

[KindHeartedSoul]

Shift has ended. The nagging and very intrusive voices are urging me to act on the plan now before anyone can intervene. They’re constantly saying ‘why wait when I know that things will not change no matter how hard I try, that this is the best it’ll ever get, it’ll just get worse from here so why prolong the agony of the inevitable impending doom,.’ They want me to do it whilst I’m in somewhat safe place which is my workplace. They also have said once it’s done and dusted everything will stop, I will be finally free from them and this agony im in right now. How good does that truly sound? All I want is some relief from the pain and suffering that I’m feeling right now. Plus I’m tired of doing anything but let go of myself I’m committed to silencing the voices and if dying is what would make them go away then that’s what im willing to do… this book has to be shut permanently now… how it ends doesn’t matter now for as long as it’s stays shut and never ever be opened again and you know what I am okay with the fact that this is how it should end… doing the last selfish act and to lose my life just to gain freedom is a hat I’ve been hoping for,. I love those who matters to me and I’m sorry for being selfish but one day they’ll understand why I did what I did… in time it’ll make sense to them… by then they’ll come to terms of how my story ended… this is the best option for me now… no more mocking around and just do it! No holding back or coming back from this. I’m fine with it and am wanting that everlasting freedom from pain and suffering…

[Academica]

@KindHeartedSoul, I am sorry to hear you are struggling.

Please check the email we have sent to you. 

Unfortunately, the Forums aren’t a counselling or crisis service, however you can call any of the following services for immediate support: 

  

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling 

Samaritans: 135 247 

If in immediate danger: 000 

[KindHeartedSoul]

I’m currently at work and all I could think of is self harming at work… the voices are pretty loud and highly intrusive… they just wouldn’t leave me alone even just for a sec… I know that they’ll stay like that for the rest of the night… I don’t know how long I can stand this aweful noise in my head … I can’t take this anymore!!! I just want everything to stop now… I don’t care what happens to me if that means acting on the urge and just let myself go now… the result of that will be freedom from pain and suffering, how good would that feel… I got everything I need to make this happen and I know I’ll never hold back… anyways let’s see where this leads me…

[KindHeartedSoul]

TW: suicidal ideation and urges with risky behaviours and self harm tendencies

yesterday was supposed to be the end of everything, I took that much meds that I slept thru out the day and literally just woke up now… I thought that by doing that the urge will go away but it didn’t it might have aggravated it more.. now all I wanna do is do different risky behaviours that may harm myself… the master plan is still in place,. This seems to stay far longer than usual, it doesn’t feel like it’s just a wave that will pass but instead it’s a feeling that’s permanently engraved within me… I couldn’t seem to shake it off… I think it is time to talk to someone who can probably help or should I just take more meds just to force myself to sleep again.? If I don’t do something about this I know it won’t end up good for me…